Being alone doesn’t need to be a negative, you! yes you! can turn it into a positive!
Yes we all at times like to have that space and be alone, but when its forced on us we often fear it, we have gotten used to being with a certain person or family members, but life can change that, very quickly, kids grow up, people leave us unexpectedly, we loose that job and so on.
don’t panic you can deal with being alone and you can change the situation to being positive, it can take time its up to you!
Lets look at the different types of being alone,
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. There is nothing wrong with being on your own if you are comfortable with it.
People usually describe feeling lonely for one of two reasons, they simply don’t see or talk to anyone very often, even though they are surrounded by people, they don’t feel understood or cared for.
Deciding which is the case for you may help you to find a way of feeling better.
I always turn being lonely into a positive and use that time to plan and also process what has happen to make me feel lonely, we can all get depressed and down when alone and it can sometimes turn into a metal health issue, so stop and think about what you can do now to feel better.
If your in a relationship or job where you feel alone then take action!
Join a trade union, speak to personnel, marriage guidance, go online look for groups to join,
Communicate how you feel, be assertive, very often we don’t like saying no.
I say if I don’t want to do something because I feel that I need a bit of space is just say “sorry that doesn’t work for me today”
There are many situations where we can struggle with being alone and feel afraid, very often we find that we aren’t alone in being alone.
Let’s face it life can give us some really difficult challenges often when we don’t expect it, we can feel alone, sad and frustrated. Then all of a sudden we get that energy inside to get us though that difficult time, but that energy inside us, is always there and is abundant, it’s called love and light. Connect to yours today, feel that love and let it drive you through the challenges of life. Just say “I am made from love and light, I do have enough energy to overcome my challenges”
When we take that step and join a club or go somewhere to meet new people we have to learn to communicate, engage in open communication by asking open questions. try and avoid using closed questions as this stops the flow and we may loose interest and go back to our quiet selves and hide. We then go back to feeling lonely and we don’t move forward.
Closed questions
Definition
There are two definitions that are used to describe closed questions. A common definition is:
A closed question can be answered with either a single word or a short phrase.
Thus ‘How old are you?’ and ‘Where do you live?’ are closed questions. A more limiting definition that is sometimes used is:
A closed question can be answered with either ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
By this definition ‘Are you happy?’ and ‘Is that a knife I see before me?’ are closed questions, whilst ‘What time is it?’ and ‘How old are you?’ are not. This causes a problem of how to classify the short-answer non-yes-or-no questions, which do not fit well with the definition for open questions. A way of handling this is to define ‘yes-no’ as a sub-class of the short-answer closed question.
Using closed questions
Closed questions have the following characteristics:
They give you facts.
They are easy to answer.
They are quick to answer.
They keep control of the conversation with the questioner.
This makes closed questions useful in the following situations:
Usage
Example
As opening questions in a conversation, as it makes it easy for the other person to answer, and doesn’t force them to reveal too much about themselves.
It’s great weather, isn’t it?
Where do you live?
What time is it?
For testing their understanding (asking yes/no questions). This is also a great way to break into a long ramble.
So, you want to move into our apartment, with your own bedroom and bathroom — true?
For setting up a desired positive or negative frame of mind in them (asking successive questions with obvious answers either yes or no ).
Are you happy with your current supplier?
Do they give you all that you need?
Would you like to find a better supplier?
For achieving closure of a persuasion (seeking yes to the big question).
If I can deliver this tomorrow, will you sign for it now?
Note how you can turn any opinion into a closed question that forces a yes or no by adding tag questions, such as “isn’t it?”, “don’t you?” or “can’t they?”, to any statement.
The first word of a question sets up the dynamic of the closed question and signals the easy answer ahead. Note how these are words like: do, would, are, will, if.
An open question is likely to receive a long answer.
Although any question can receive a long answer, open questions deliberately seek longer answers, and are the opposite of closed questions.
Using open questions
Open questions have the following characteristics:
They ask the respondent to think and reflect.
They will give you opinions and feelings.
They hand control of the conversation to the respondent.
This makes open questions useful in the following situations:
Usage
Example
As a follow-on from closed questions, to develop a conversation and open up someone who is rather quiet.
What did you do on you holidays?
How do you keep focused on your work?
To find out more about a person, their wants, needs, problems, and so on.
What’s keeping you awake these days?
Why is that so important to you?
To get people to realise the extend of their problems (to which, of course, you have the solution).
I wonder what would happen if your customers complained even more?
Rob Jones used to go out late. What happened to him?
To get them to feel good about you by asking after their health or otherwise demonstrating human concern about them.
How have you been after your operation?
You’re looking down. What’s up?
Open questions begin with such as: what, why, how, describe.
Using open questions can be scary, as they seem to hand the baton of control over to the other person. However, well-placed questions do leave you in control as you steer their interest and engage them where you want them.
When opening conversations, a good balance is around three closed questions to one open question. The closed questions start the conversation and summarise progress, whilst the open question gets the other person thinking and continuing to give you useful information about them.
A neat trick is to get them to ask you open questions. This then gives you the floor to talk about what you want. The way to achieve this is to intrigue them with an incomplete story or benefit.
A lot of my clients have problems at night time and find it hard to sleep as they worry about being alone, especially after the loss of a loved one, or the break up of a relationship. It takes time to adjust and often counselling can help, being more relaxed, Reading positive books, watching funny programs, write down ideas, I used to go for a drive and get out of the house, avoid caffeine etc. get advice on that, see your doctor, nurse etc
Its trial and error what works for others may not work for you.
All you folk who have a troubled mind tonight just relax and let the Angels take over for a while. just feel yourself happy or what it’s like to be happy remember a time you felt happy, and feel it now and how good it is to be happy, this Happy medium is now happy your happy, and if your not happy reading my happy post by now, then you will be happy as all this is trying to do is let you feel how happy I am you have read my happy post. If you can’t get happy then just say sod this unhappy feeling I have and by now the universe is working on making you happy lol
Meditation, means being ‘pleasantly anchored in the present moment’. With the hectic lifestyle people live in today, stress is a strong contributor to heart disease and high blood pressure. This is why it is important to learn to relax and relax our body. And this can be achieved through meditation. Meditation is easy for us to incorporate into our lives.
Meditation is becoming more and more popular every day and there is a reason behind this. Scientists study it; doctors recommend it and millions of people all over the world practice it every day. Why? Because meditation works. Meditation is not just a matter of belief or disbelief. Meditation can improve our achievements and it can help us,we can develop hidden talents and capabilities that we had forgotten we possess. Achieve more with less effort – that is the essence of Meditation.
Meditations can completely relax our body and mind and it can also make our brain more alert and make our heart relax. It refreshes us completely and gets us ready for another batch of work. It also helps us block out any distractions that may come across our way.
You don’t have to sit with knees crossed or anything funny, we all meditate at certain times of the day, like when were doing the Ironing, cooking, reading etc
So use that time when you feel lonely to meditate or try mindfulness, often this gives as an incite to ourselves and you may even enjoy it, this doesn’t have to be done alone, there are groups and very often classes where you can be given guided meditations to start with.
There are lots of books on it and lots of CDs best to find you own way to meditate and just relax.
If you have
a dream
Don’t wait
for some distant day to come,
it may be too
late before you’ve even begun.
Not everyone
will agree with all you decide.
Be true to
yourself first and foremost.
The only
important thing in life is what you do
with the time
you spend here on Earth.
Don’t be
afraid to follow your desires,
they are not
silly nor selfish.
Take the time
and do what makes you feel alive.
Leave your
fears and regrets in the past,
for this is
where they belong.
Don’t cloud
today with things that can’t be undone.
You have no
more control over yesterday or tomorrow,
than you do
the raging of your passions.
Do not quiet
these dreams nor quench your desires.
For if you
do, your journey is ended.
You have only
today to begin anew and follow your dreams.
Remember to laugh and what made you laugh, remember what worked in the past, when you were lonely before, avoid the comfort zones i.e. eating and drinking to much just to cheer yourself up, if that is what you enjoy, ask people round, go see others, join a befriend group, often helping others you can help yourself. do that course you have always wanted to do, use that lonely time in a constructive way.
I really don’t want to see you or help you get rid of an additive behaviour like Gambling and drinking as you aren’t facing up to things, when we do that, have a list of things you can do when you feel lonely, hand write it as it helps to log it in to your subconscious mind. Stay focused on your well being and never be afraid to ask for help!
OK things happen out with your control, and we say why me? You have the ability to overcome the challenges, just laugh let go of all the stress, take a deep breath and feel that laughter come back and feel that energy inside saying, sod this! Time to accept and move forward.
In recent decades there has been a trend in the fads of dieting, and it is no different in the world of detoxification advocates. For those who continue to push detoxification diets there are a whole range of issues that they are not thinking about. For example, before one continues or starts a detox diet then everything about that person must be taken into consideration: his or her current diet, weight, current state of health, as well as body size and age. There may be some type of benefits that certain people experience by performing a detoxification diet in their lives, but let’s look at the ways in which there is false hope with the issue of detoxification:
1: Detoxification Will Not Cure You!
There are many people who are suffering from major diseases and sickness, like certain types of cancer or other incurable diseases. However, the detoxification world makes everything out to be so simple that they put too much weight on some of the benefits of detox diets. If a person has been suffering from lung cancer for quite some time and sees advertisements for a total body detoxification and restoration product, then he or she may easily buy into the false hope that is being presented.
Even though there are many benefits that a detox plan can help with, individuals must realize that detoxifying your body will not help with any incurable diseases, types of cancers, and other ailments. Even though detoxification advertisements may make the issue out to be that detox drugs and therapies are the wonder drug of the century, this idea is certainly not true!
2: Detoxification Will Not Lose Weight for You!
Another issue that many people need to take a step back and realize is that detoxification diets will not help you lose weight unless you change your lifestyle. Even though there are some advocates of detoxification systems that pretty much say everything to the contrary, weight loss will only take place if you give yourself a healthy change and lifestyle for the better.
An example of this would be someone who is overweight but continues to eat at the fast-food restaurant that is all over the city. For him or her a detoxification system may be needed, however, it won’t automatically help him or her to lose weight overnight! On the contrary, fast food needs to be eliminated in that diet, and only then will be experience true weight loss.
All in all, it seems as though the detoxification diets are truly a fad that needs to go away. Even though they are a good system for those who already have a healthy lifestyle and are not sick, it is so easy to understand how advertisements of different detoxification systems can emit false hope in the dark of the night. If you truly want a healthy body then you must strive for it because there is certainly no miracle trick, like the detox fads, that will accomplish that for you!
Being diabetic I have tried many diets and fads, but it not all about the body you need to look at your mind, and your mental wellbeing. To many of us get hooked in to buy that new supplement, diet, book and so on and often spend £100s on stuff you never read as you don’t event try to change your lifestyle that creates the problem in the first place.
I remember going to a weight watchers meeting years ago and the teacher had a pack of weight watchers’ biscuits, 24 points she said, I put my hand up its only 2points a biscuit, she looked at me with her glaring eyes and said would you only eat one or are you like me that would eat the whole packet.
I was honest and said I would also eat the whole packet. So, the point is, its learnt behaviours and creating new behaviours more positive ones and healthier ones that do work, that really make a difference.
There are of course the holistic approaches, that do work or can be used as an alternative, I have always believed, we need to work with the NHS and doctors and together we can help our clients to deal with a variety of health and wellness issues.
There are many services we offer from Reiki healing, counselling, life coaching, Access Bars, NLP, Hypnotherapy, regression, TFT and many more.
Instead of just popping a pill or new supplement, why not come for a session and see how we can help you overcome your challenges and find the root cause of your issues or the negative learnt behaviours you have created, yes you! As the only person that can help you is yourself, but we can give you the tools to succeed.
Book a session now and get back on that road to recovery!
Some people struggle with developing skills because of behaviours developed from influences over the years. When they struggle with pre-structured behaviours or genetically related behaviours it often makes it a harder struggle to build self-determination. Usually with some help, a good mentor, counsellor, etc, the person can develop skills. It may take longer, but it is worth the wait.
A person’s behaviour towards a situation could also affect the way others see them. Their attitude towards others could also affect their behaviour as well. One’s attitude needs to be adjusted for one to developand change their self-determination. A person could be assessed in any situation to understand what they are going through for one to understand them in any way. May be a sort of group therapy may also help so as the teacher can pick up on any feelings you may have when discussing matters.
Some people may feel better if they converse about things first to others and listen to others and their issues or problems they may have or problems they seem to face in everyday life. In a child it could be something that has happened to them emotionally or mentally. No one knows unless these issues are raised. If a child has a problem at home maybe the child feels better telling a complete stranger i.e., Counsellor so as they can understand from the way they may see things rather than talk to a relative. There may be a lot the person may want to say and may be a bit overwhelmed when talking to someone they know. They may have a lot to say and feel nervous in front of someone. For example, you may want to feel less anxious or tired and therefore a session in counselling may be of help to you in some way or another. Counselling may also help in other ways if need be.
Considering the cognitive approach, motivation sometimes crosses over the lines of theory. For instance, implicit motives can set in motion or cause someone unknowingly to react to something when the person is unaware of his or her intentions. By training the mind to learn while focusing on the objective, you can help one to reform unconstructive behaviours. Sometimes counsellors will use priming methods to measure the patient’s contained memory. The process involves scrambling letters. Once the letters are jumbled the entity is asked to choose some words from the letters. The letters in the first instance should relate to success while in the second instance it should relate to relationship.
During these tests patients that chose the success often showed higher degrees of motivation than those that were confined to relationships. Each party during these tests is often prepared with success-related terms or words. You might try the priming methods at home to see if your child can progress and build his or her motivation.
Aside from the priming method, you have other methods to consider helping your child develop motivation and self-determination. It is a proven fact that we often develop behaviours whether consciously or not, and in time unconscious influences that enforced the behaviours upon us will display themselves in our behaviour. We must constantly stay on guard to defend our human rights and to make sure that others are not influencing our behaviours.
Another good strategy that you can use is the pro and con measurement test. This test will help your child see the benefits of balance, good skills, motivation, etc, and see the consequences of the cons. It is an effective therapeutic strategy that works.
If you need help to change or delete bad learnt behaviours or want to learn and move forward.
I Hold Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced counselling. I am fully insured and follow national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.
My motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “
Derek Talking about Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Mental health
Alcohol abuse is overrated, while drug abuse is underrated. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (DSM manual) suggests that substance abuse there are differences in the definition of drug and alcohol use.
To confuse matters worse the law has its own version of who is an alcoholic or drug addict. Some of the symptoms that help professionals determine if alcohol and drugs are a problem include, excessive drinking/drugging, problems with the law, withdrawal symptoms, shaking of the hands, and so forth.
If a person drinks everyday of the week and relies on alcohol, then you are probably dealing with an alcoholic. There are philosophers who claim if a person needs a drink at breakfast, that he or she is an alcohol.
Some philosophers claim that if you drink more than six-pack in a week, then you are an alcoholic. The fact is, most of the people nagging or evaluating alcohol and drugs have a problem themselves’ s or has gotten help off someone in their lifetime to treat their own problems.
Therefore, as you can see addictions, dependant alcoholics, and other types of alcoholics and drug addicts may alter. First all, any chemical that causes harm is a potential danger to your being.
In other words, if you start out drinking when you are fourteen and continue through your lifetime without alcohol causing you trouble, or else landing you a spot in jail, then you are probably not an alcoholic according to few.
The fact is the ones that are drinking and driving and getting caught are alcoholics according to the system although the level of alcohol in the blood plays a role in the determination. The truth is the law sometimes over dramatizes and the system is out to make all the money they can, so we all might be alcoholics by the time they are done with us.
Alcoholism and drug addictions are complex, in the sense there are too many misconstrued inputs and often the label is placed on individuals according to culture and history. If your parents drank alcohol, then the system sometimes will claim you as an alcoholic. The fact is, Jesus’ drink wine in moderation, so drinking in moderation is not a bad thing. The problem becomes a problem when the person has difficulty putting down the bottle and/or increases their intake as well as combining drugs with the alcohol to get an affect they were had.
If someone will steal or lie to get alcohol or drugs, then you know they have a real problem. However, most alcoholics and drug addicts have bigger problems than addictions and this is often ignored.
For example, people with mental illnesses often resort to alcohol and/or drugs to find relief of their symptoms. Now if a professional is treating this person for his or her diagnose and progress is moving along the person often feels healthy and the alcohol and drugs are out the door.
In my studies and opinions, I disagree with alcoholism and drug addictions if the person can stop once the mental illness is treated. This means that the person was suffering, and the substances was a mechanism to help them cope.
On the other hand, if the person is treated for mental illnesses and his or her drug and alcohol habits continue, then I think you had better get out the chair and start talking ‘one day at a time.’ Alcohol was once known as the “Devils Drink.” The White men are the originator of the source, and since its beginning it has caused serious complications, including death, abuse, and other related crimes.
Drugs are optional since the system often makes them available by teaching individuals what the drugs contain. The root of all-evil is money, and if a person sees that he or she can gain, they may take advantage, but fall into a snare in between. The system is overwrought since they put alcoholics and drugs addicts in jail and not seeking help for them.
The solution to humankind’s problem is helping and not hurting or promoting. If we can’t get along now, what makes you think you are going to heaven?
What do you think?
If you are struggling with addictions or additive behaviours, please get help.
I can help you or sign post you.
Derek Holds Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced counselling. Is fully insured and follows national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.
Derek is often asked to do Motivational & Spiritual Workshops, Psychic shows and events with music from the past present & future.
His motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “
What is the psychic mind and how does it take part in mental health?
Psychogenic lies outside of scientific insight and is often linked to religious ritualistic and supernatural forces, which are often marked by influences, perception, sensory, morals, immaterial, and so forth. It has been witnessed by few that trauma patients often have a higher level of perception and sensory tools and have been known to have sixth senses and shared pains. This is a new subject that will be addressed later, but I wanted to separate the two. The two are separate from the psychic mind and often linked to the sources.
The many psychic minds around the world believe they can communicate with the dead and predict an unforeseen episode. Is it possible that a person can go into another world and speak with those of the past?
We will see! Having being a Psychic medium I do believe we can, or am I just delusional?
The many people in the world that has helped police officers find murders, help families get in contact with the other world, and have endured attacks on their own lives may not have a psychic intellect, rather they may have an underlying mental illness that creates an delusional outlook or they may have an actual gift who really knows?
We can look at magic practice, which is a series of acts that include illusion and delusion. What happens is the person is led to believe that an act is real when in fact it is not or as we are taught to believe this, we feel that is the case? We cant open our minds to ask if its true. yet even when I give validations some still believe its not true, maybe I am dilutional or just have a spilt personality?
Another example can be seen in the so-called healers. These people lead others to believe that they can make another individual walk if he or she is in a wheel chair. I learnt information on this subject including that in one case the person had a van parked out in the lot and microphones connected to another individual that acted out the part, and the person in the wheel chair was never paralyzed in the first place. State of illusion-delusion and unfortunately this happens often in our system. But I have seen amazing healing done, with holistic healers and being a Reiki master I know it can help.
How is this linked to mental illness? Well we can see that the person is an impulsive-compulsive liar that gets rich off misleading others. We call them charlatans and they give the good and genuine healers/Psychics a bad name. We are alert to the fact that when a person illustrates a damning behaviour it often leads to problems that are more dangerous. I have seen so called healers and psychics with no authoring bodies or insurance or even training do damage to others. Very often its myself that has to heal them using my other skills like counselling, life coaching and hypnotherapy.
Now we come back to the psychic mind where these people are misled into believing they have contact with other worlds and can predict or foreseen outdated. Most likely, the person had some connection in the first place, whether the information was in a book read and forgotten or what-have you and yes this can happen. But if you have been trained and are of sound mind, demonstrated your skills in public or private, you have to ask is there something to this? or is it just some delusional mind?
We know from sources that anyone practices magic, employing divination, mediums, sorcerers foretellers and so forth were all recording throughout the history and we are aware that these people are considered evil. So called witches and healers were wrongly burnt, hung and killed
However is Evil the source of the problem? while the individual may be thoroughly deceived and probably suffering underlying causes that make them believe as well as make others believe they have a natural ability to talk to the dead or they may have found out that we can all do this and open up to the possibility of it being true?
The fact is mind over matter is powerful and can become deadly if a person is twisted in their beliefs and thinking process. The mind alone is powerful and can play tricks with the mind that many will struggle to understand. However if we practice vigilant, and work toward enhancing our skills to hear and listen, as well as reading between the lines, we are working toward a healthy mind that very few will have the opportunity to deceive. This article in no way intended to hurt other person’s feelings, rather it is geared to help the audience learn mental health issues, the mind, and why things happen.
It is also geared to help the audience see how jealousy, envy, lies, hate, and other elements play a large role in mental health and mental illnesses.
Many people in the world suffer mental illnesses and often are not aware of this fact until the behaviour that initiated the illness grew into a series of behaviours and thinking processes that escalate to madness.
But the What if? question is how many people have be wrongly diagnosed delusional, when in fact they had gifts and skills that can help us all. The world has many problems and until we all face up to reality and truth we are never going to find the answers to the many problems that often sit in front of our faces.
In todays world with so many untruths and lies spread by social media, we have to ask ourselves what is fact and what is fictional?
I am my own biggest sceptic and I ask all the time, if what I get or think is true and very often it is, but only when I have a quiet mind and peace, I really get the answers, yes I could be delusional or a devil or maybe I just believe in Angel’s and god?
Point to all this is be open minded don’t just judge others on what you don’t know or understand make an effort to understand and maybe you will find the answers!!
If you like to book an appointment click the button below:-
CBD is the abbreviation for cannabidiol, one of the many cannabinoids, or chemical compounds, found in marijuana and hemp. You’re probably already familiar with THC, which is another compound found in the cannabis plant.
But unlike THC, CBD is not psychoactive. In other words, it’s not what gets you stoned.
A lot of my clients have been asking about CBD oil and as I am a Neal’s Yard consultant I have some information on CBD oil if you would like you purchase some please contact me.( At Present there is a 60% off deal) Or go to http://uk.nyrorganic.com/shop/ahappybody
CBD oil is a huge trend in the UK, so what exactly is CBD?
The use of CBD oil is hugely popular right now but its usage goes back thousands of years, originating in Asia, being brought west by the Roman empire after military campaigns and by the Greek physician Pedacius Dioscorides, who accompanied the Roman camp.
CBD is the abbreviation for cannabidiol, one of many cannabinoids, or plant chemical compounds found in both cannabis and hemp, this is what gives the plant its therapeutic properties.
What are cannabinoids?
Cannabinoids are chemical compounds that occur naturally in the human body and also in some plants (like hemp and cannabis).
How do cannabinoids work within the body?
Cannabinoids (from hemp / cannabis) interact with receptors within our bodies own endocannabinoid system (ECS) to trigger various physiological actions. The ECS plays an essential role within the body and cannabinoids are vital for it to function effectively.
When cannabinoids are produced within the body they are commonly called endocannabinoids, ‘endo’ meaning ‘internal’ or ‘within’.
Whereas when cannabinoids are produced by plants they are often called phytocannabinoids, ‘Phyto’ meaning ‘of a plant’.
I will explain the endocannabinoid system simply
The human endocannabinoid system was first discovered in the 1990’s and is a network of receptors spread throughout our entire body that control some of our most vital life functions. Including the immune system, memory, appetite, sleep pattern, mood and pain sensation. It has been described as ‘the supercomputer that regulates homeostasis in all mammals’. Simply put this means it’s always regulating functions in our body to keep us in a state of wellbeing.
Why may I need to support my endocannabinoid system?
Unfortunately, many things like pollution, poor diet, stress and lack of exercise can lead to our bodies being unable to produce our own endocannabinoids, so the ECS (endocannabinoid system) may become deficient and our health or feelings of wellbeing may deteriorate.
How does CBD oil work?
CBD and other cannabinoids found in plants are similar to our bodies own endocannabinoids, research has shown they can interact with our endocannabinoid system. Researchers have found evidence that supplementing with phytocannabinoids, such as CBD, couldhelp our endocannabinoid system to function properly, regain balance and therefore support greater wellbeing.
I’ve heard there are different forms of CBD, what’s the difference?
CBD is not the only cannabinoid (found in cannabis and hemp), over 113 different cannabinoids have been discovered in the cannabisplant, each interacts with our endocannabinoid system in different ways. CBD is the most abundant cannabinoid but the others also play a role in regulating different aspects of our wellbeing, for example CBDa is often associated with pain relief and CBDg associated helping improve sleep patterns.
What’s the difference in the strength of each CBD oil?
CBD products are labelled with either milligrams (mg) of CBD or the percentage of CBD, sometimes both. E.G. 500mg of CBD within a 10ml bottle of CBD oil is 5% strength.
6% strength (600mg CBD/CBDa per 10ml) = 2.4mg CBD/CBDa per drop.
8% strength (800mg CBD/CBDa per 10ml) = 3.2mg CBD/CBDa per drop.
Will CBD oil make me high or is it different to cannabis?
CBD doesn’t have the psychoactive properties of its more famous cousin THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol) found in marujuna / cannabis. To make a product legally compliant it must contain less than 0.2% THC. The CBD in the products we sell is standardised to contain less than 0.2% THC, this is a level below the amount considered to result in any psychoactive effect.
How do I take CBD oil?
Just drop the desired amount under your tongue and hold for 2-3 minutes before swallowing. If you struggle with the taste try brushing your teeth beforehand or try placing the CBD oil onto a bit of chocolate. Dropping CBD oil under the tongue (sublingually) allows the CBD to get directly into the bloodstream, via the salivary glands.
What dosage should I take?
Due to the individual characteristics of each user, such as age, weight, metabolism or concern, CBD dosage may vary; please see notes below. If you’re on prescription medication, pregnant or breastfeeding please chat to your healthcare practitioner / GP.
Always start on the lowest dosage as indicted on the label – 1 drop daily. If your healthcare practitioner advises you may wish to take a higher dose, make sure to split over the course of the day and build up slowly until you reach your desired effect. Please do not exceed the 160mg food supplement daily limit
As with all natural remedies some people may feel benefits straight away, whilst for others it may take longer. Once you find the dose that suits you it is recommended to stay at the same dosage, taking more does not increase the benefits of the CBD oil.
How should I store my CBD oil?
We would advise you store your CBD oil in a cool dark place, away from direct sunlight. During the hot summer months it may be beneficial to store it in the fridge.
Are there any side-effects if I take CBD oil?
Although there are a few potential side effects of using CBD, they are minor and often short-lived. Not everyone will experience them and the potential therapeutic benefits often out way these minor irritations. But please be aware of these potential side effects.
Dry mouth
Dizziness
Drowsiness
Reduced blood pressure
Delay, occasionally even inhibition of certain medicines’ effects
Can we make any health claims with CBD oil?
CBD oil is not a medical product, we sell it as a food supplement. It supports homeostasis or balance of the endocanabinoid system and may therefore support wellbeing. We cannot give out advice on using CBD oil for anything medical related. It’s always important to do your own thorough research before trying it out.
The amount of information and variety of products can be overwhelming. So how do I know what’s best for my needs?
As with most things in life not everything is equal. The quality and therefore potency of CBD products on the market varies:
Always look for a ‘full spectrum’ extract rather than isolate, full spectrum means it contains a wide range of other cannabinoids
alongside other plant chemicals, this means it has synergistic benefits.
Isolate means that one element of the plant has been extracted and everything else excluded, it is highly processed.
A good quality CBD producer will be able to provide technical data / lab reports for their extracts.
Does the extract producer grow their own plant material? Most on the market don’t, rather buying bulk from another producer.
Whereas a company that is responsible for the whole process from seed to bottle knows exactly what is in the end product and is responsible for the quality and processing of the plant material.
Can I vape CBD oil or put it one of our aromatherapy diffusers?
The CBD oil we sell is classed as a supplement and is only suitable for oral use and not to be used in a vaporiser, diffuser or for smoking.
Is CBD legal?
CBD oil is legal in the UK, if it is manufactured in a way that does not result in unacceptable levels of undesirable substances – such as THC, the psychoactive substance in cannabis, it must contain less than 0.2% THC to be legally compliant.
Can I sell CBD to under 18 year olds?
We cannot recommend CBD oil to under 18 year olds
Can I fail a drugs test when taking BioBloom CBD oil?
We suggest that pilots and members of comparable professional groups should consult their employers prior to taking Biobloom full spectrum CBD-drops.
Can I travel abroad when using BioBloom CBD oil?
The rules of the destination country apply here – in the Arab states the THC tolerance is very low, please check before travelling.
BioBloom are an international family business who are dedicated to research and production of organic hemp flowers and CBD products. They carefully develop products based on sound scientific data and cooperate with experts from phytochemistry and pharmaceutical industries.
BioBloom stand behind their products from the moment of planting the seed to the time they seal the bottle. Hand picked andprocessed organic hemp plants are gently dried for up to 36 hours at a maximum temperature of 50˚C. The seeds are cold pressed topreserve all healthy ingredients.
How is the CBD extracted in BioBloom?
BioBloom CBD oils are made using Supercritical CO2 extraction, in a certified laboratory under the strictest quality standards – this allows for plant extraction without using harmful chemicals and it also guarantees that all natural nutrients contained in the plants are preserved. Through this process they produce a CBD product closest to the natural state of the plant.
Here are some key points about CBD oil by BioBloom:
Quality you can trust – lab tested.
Organic, raw, solvent-free and Non-GM.
100% natural. Vegan.
Designed to support a balanced Endocannabinoid System.
Made from the highest quality ingredients.
Dropper built into cap to make dosing easier.
CO2 Supercritical extraction method. (extracted without the use of solvents)
Contains a full spectrum of cannabinoids and terpenes.
Non-psychoactive (only contains legal trace amounts of THC)
In my capacity as A Happy Medium, where I am an intuitive life coach and complementary therapist, I discovered I had this amazing ability to foresee weddings, births and so on.
As a result, I was often asked to do wedding ceremonies, or invited to christening of new-born babies.
When at some of these events I often thought that the events did not do justice to the couple as often they didn’t get what they wanted and had to follow set protocols and please Family, church, or others etc.
So I decided to train as a Civil Celebrant. And offer the couple more options so they could be In Control off THEIR special day.
In June 2019, I completed and passed NOCN Level 3 Diploma in Celebrancy – Baby Naming and Couples.
I was trained in by Civil Ceremonies Ltd. Who are one of the top rated trainers and regulated by the government body OFQUAL.
I am a deeply spiritual person and believe in the concept of unconditional love. Love should be celebrated, and a ceremony is a great way to show that love. I created A Happy Ceremony for that reason to offer personalised ceremonies for my clients,
My motto is “Seal your love with a ceremony and a smile”
Some of the ceremonies I offer are
Wedding ceremony
Baby Naming
Scottish Hand fasting
Renewal of Civil partnership or wedding vows
Commitment ceremonies
Divorce ceremonies
I operate from Elgin in Moray, Scotland but prepared to travel anywhere in UK.
I was already travelling throughout the Uk and the Islands putting on shows for my work as A Happy Medium I had a lot of ceremonies booked but dew to the Covid 19 restrictions they have been rescheduled to next year.
Having been a public speaker for over 25 years I am a very confident speaker and I am often the one who you calms others down, who are involved in the events I attend, also take charge when things don’t go to plan, I use hummer, kindness and compassion, plus I use my empathy skills to assist you and your family.
I like to get to know a little about you so that I can make sure that your ceremony is personalised to make it unique to you both. You can have as much of your own input as you wish, on your Happy Celebration day. I love to connect with you and your guests so that everyone feels a part of the day and not just a spectator to it. We work together we make it unforgettable.
Here is some of what happens:
You find your dream venue or ask us for a recommendation
Contact us to hold your preferred date
Contact Registration office – Intent to marry
Book your signing day
Begin creating your unique and personal ceremony!
Whatever the occasion, I look forward to working with you to create a unique and personal ceremony, reflective of who you are and without any restrictions on location, content, format, or style.
My ceremonies are warm, personal, and relaxed, and can be as romantic and sentimental or as upbeat and quirky as you wish.
It’s your day so let’s make it really special and unforgettable for you.
Your Wedding Ceremony
I can officiate at a ceremony for couples of any gender that follows your legal marriage or partnership formalities, either the same day or some time afterwards.
You can share your love for each other with your family and friends, in the ceremony that you really want.
In Scotland just now only a Humanist Celebrant can legally marry you and you have to follow the Humanist format. You don’t have to follow any format with myself as I am not tied to any Religion, but I am fully insured.
The law is hopefully changing soon where all trained celebrants will be able to legally marry, you can have the church minister, priest marry you or a register at or before your ceremony it’s up to you.
Most of my clients just need to say to the register they want to get married but do not want the ceremony with the register, they then get a form to sign and the costs are low.
My ceremonies do not replace your legal formalities but are designed to be a perfect solution to many dilemmas.
If you can say “Yes” to any of the following situations,
the Wedding Celebration Ceremony is for you!
You want your ceremony in a private house or garden.
You want the ceremony outside, maybe in a marquee.
You want to get married abroad but also want to share your wedding celebration with friends and family when you return.
You want your ceremony in a particular venue that is not licensed for marriages or civil partnership.
You want religious or cultural traditions, which are not allowed at a Register Office or in a religious ceremony.
You want to include spiritual, religious, or symbolic elements with special meaning to you.
It is a Personalised ceremony that you design with My help, conducted in front of all your family and friends, in any location that you choose.
These ceremonies are for couples of any gender.
I also can provide PA systems etc as I use them for my other events.
Why Use us, For Your Happy Ceremony?
“Personalise the start of your wedding with a happy ceremony with words that are all about you.”
With a ceremony led by Wedding Celebrant Derek McGillivray you can:
Choose Your Own Location
Your ceremony can be held anywhere!
It does not need to be licensed as the ceremony can be separate from your legal signing.
Choose Your Own Time
Celebrate at a time that suits you. Because normally only one ceremony a day is conducted, you can pick the time you REALLY want!
A Ceremony personalised to suit you
I get to know you so that he can convey your personal story to the guests to make this an unforgettable experience.
I am Fully Qualified and insured I also trained to offer A Naming Ceremony.
What is a Naming ceremony?
A Naming ceremony is an event at which a person or persons is officially assigned a name. Various countries participate in this practice, with methods differing over cultures and religions.
The timing at which a name is assigned can vary from some days after birth to several months or many years.
Your Naming Ceremony can be specially created using your own selection of words, poems and readings, either from the wide selection Derek can provide, or from other sources.
During the ceremony, a special commemorative certificate is signed and presented. There are many ways to make your child’s ceremony a very personal, meaningful, and unique event for all those involved.
Derek can work with you if you still want your child to be baptised in a church etc and want a more personal naming ceremony afterwards. Very often a Baby naming Ceremony is asked for at the same time or before a wedding, especially if couples have children who are being adopted or changing names, it helps make the joining of families more memorable.
Apart from the normal Ring blessing, giving and ring ceremony you can also have lots of other symbolic acts within ceremonies.
The Handfasting Ceremony is probably requested most by the couples in Scotland,
You may have wondered where the expression to tie the knot comes from. It refers to the traditional Celtic ritual of Handfasting, which was recognised as the contract of marriage.
Handfasting may be unfamiliar to many of you so I will explain a little about it.
A hand fasting was originally more like an engagement or trial marriage, where two people would declare a binding union between themselves for a year and a day.
After a year went by they could separate or decide to permanently enter a full marriage, very often if there were no child or pregnancy this is what happened, Hand fasting was suppress in 664 but was still considered amongst many as a legal form of marriage in England until 1753 when it was outlawed.
In Scotland it continued until 1939, hence the stories of elopement to Gretna Green to be married over the anvil.
Candle Lighting
The Bride and Groom each light a candle each, to symbolise their separate lives before their formal union as a married couple. In a partnership of equals, such as the one which they have, each partner cares for the other through both the difficult times and the good times.
They will share the laughter and the tears, the joy, and the sadness, as well as the companionship and tranquillity of simply being together. But at the same time, they will continue to respect each other’s individuality and uniqueness, and this is symbolised by the two candles.
The Bride and Groom then light a third candle symbolising the joining together of their lives in marriage.
The three candles will shine forth as symbols of both their togetherness and of their continuing individuality.
Elements Well Wishing
As a unique way to symbolise a union is to celebrate life’s essential elements. A well-wishing is said to all the elements. Earth, Air, Water and Fire.
There are many ways of doing this, depending on where the ceremony is taking place.
Sand Ceremony
A marriage is symbolised by the pouring together of two individual containers of sand, representing the Bride and the Groom and all that they were, all that they are, and all that they will ever be. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the grains of sand can never again be separated, as you will now be in their marriage.
Planting a Tree
The tree symbolises a Bride and Groom’s hopes for the future as well as the beauty and wonder of life. Whether a tree grows to be tall and strong depends on the nurture it receives. No tree grows alone – they all need the soil, the sunshine and the rain. So too, a marriage needs to be nourished and a Bride and Groom will be there for each other through all the seasons of their life together – to support, love and nurture each other.
Exchange of Flowers
The language of flowers, has its roots throughout history. Using flowers to send a message probably dates to prehistoric times as symbolic use of flowers is mentioned in Egyptian inscriptions, in Chinese writings and in both Greek and Roman mythology.
And so, the bride and groom exchange white roses, which symbolize purity, charm and innocence.
Gathering of Flowers
As your guests arrive, present them with a flower. Each one of these flowers is different, each one is beautiful, and each one will add its own unique qualities to the bouquet that will made when they are gathered together.
All of your guests have each brought their own qualities to their relationships with you, their own beauty, their own colour and their own influence…
And now as they gather together for this most special of occasions, a nominated person will gather these flowers together, each flower representing their place in the bride and Groom’s lives.
The beautiful bundle of flowers represents the colour and the beauty that each and every person brings into your lives, and with the placing of each flower, the bouquet changes, each flower playing its own part in influencing how the final bouquet will look and feel. This bouquet will now be the centrepiece of this ceremony, and the dinner and party to follow.
Gifts for Mothers
This wedding is also a celebration of family. It is the blending of families, separate up to this moment, but united from this day forward – blending their different traditions, strengthening the family tree. Mothers cry when their children hurt and welcome pain and burden to give their sons and daughters the gift of life.
The Bride and Groom, to honour this blending of families, present a rose to their mothers – to thank their parents for the many sacrifices they have made and for their unconditional love so freely given to their children.
There is so much more
Here is a list of symbolic gestures you may wish to consider for your marriage ceremony.
Candle Lighting
Elements Well Wishing
Sand Ceremony
Planting a Tree
Exchange of Flowers
Gathering of Flowers
Gifts for Mothers
The Mexican Hug
Release of Doves
Release of Butterflies
Release of Balloons
Wedding Band Warming
Heart Entwining
Do not forget some of these gestures can be used for the Baby naming ceremonies too.
Thank you for taking the time to watch this video and we also offer services to support you leading up to your big day, and even help you save money on your house hold bills from now, so, you can put that money towards your future instead.
Feel free to come in or have a chat on zoom, we could even do a ceremony over zoom until you can have that real special day, ironically, I have been asked lately for this already.
It gets everywhere! On television and radio, in shops, newspapers and magazines, on
the internet and even all the outdoor decorations. We can’t escape it. The holidays are coming!
It seems that everyone else has a wonderful family time…..except me? This a common statement from my clients at this time of year.
Is this a fact or opinion?
Perhaps a minority of people are fortunate enough to have a lovely family time. The majority have some good family times mixed
with quite a lot of work, stress and financial burden. Family stresses can be greatly exaggerated and become intolerable over the holiday period when everyone is forced to spend time together, trying to keep things cheerful.
For others, it is a very lonely time. A reminder that we are alone, out of contact with, or without family. If we have friends, then they will probably be spending time with their families and have little spare time for us. Everything seems to be closed on the day itself: shops, libraries, cafes and all other meeting points or places where we might be in contact with others.
So what can we do? How can we get through this time?
Maybe even change things so that we can feel better about it.
If we change the way we think about it, or change what we do – then we will change the way we feel. If we carry on thinking and doing what we’ve always done, then nothing will change and we will have a miserable holiday time.
Use the an alternative cycle to decide how you can make things better.
My alternative cycle:
How can I think differently?
What can I do differently?
How will I feel if I think/act differently?
Get help speak to others, write down lists of what you could do, even volunteer for a charity and spend time helping others.
Use positive self talk I encourage my clients to use Positive statements.
Positive statements encourage us and help us cope through distressing times. We can say these encouraging words to ourselves and be our own personal coach. We have all survived some very distressing times, and we can use those experiences to encourage us through current difficulties. Examples of coping thoughts might be:
Stop, and breathe.
I can do this.
This will pass.
I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this.
I have done this before, and I can do it again.
This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass.
This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong.
These are just feelings; they will go away.
This won’t last forever.
Short term pain for long term gain.
I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.
I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly.
I have survived before, I will survive now.
I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.
It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction.
Right now, I am not in danger. Right now, I’m safe.
My mind is not always my friend.
Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual.
This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.
I can use my coping skills and get through this.
I can learn from this and it will be easier next time.
Keep calm and carry on.
Don’t let the Festive season get you down, be proactive if you need help book a session and I will help you plan and set some new goals to achieve a wonderful Christmas.
Many of us spend a lot of time in the pursuit of happiness, striving towards a goal of a better paid job, greater status, or obtaining the latest possession. An unfulfilled life might mean an unhealthy and unhappy life, but that’s not necessarily the case.
However, lack of meaning and purpose can result in anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
Lack of Purpose.
There have been, and still are, times when terrible events happen to a community or a country, and our lives are shaken to the core.
What really matters at those times?
We hear about the community spirit of the London Blitz, of that shared purpose of coming together and working towards a common goal, helping others and contributing to the “war effort”.
Modern life can lack that community spirit and togetherness, and we can wander aimlessly through the routine of daily life, looking for something we don’t even know we’re missing.
The Pursuit of Happiness
The pursuit of happiness can lead us to feel stressed, frustrated, depressed, anxious.
Happiness is usually about trying to satisfy our wants and needs – looking towards ourselves, an inward-looking focus.
We can learn from the rich and famous that money, fame and possessions often don’t go hand in hand with happiness.
Search for Meaning
Where are you heading?
Would you start out on a year-long journey to an unknown destination?
Or would you ask questions about the journey, and about the destination?
Finding purpose and fulfilment is more about giving, to others, to the community, to the environment, to the world. We often become more outward focused to find meaning and purpose. In giving, in finding purpose, we find fulfilment and satisfaction, but not necessarily happiness…. although it can be a by-product.
Finding purpose gives us exactly that – a purpose to go on in spite of life circumstances.
Viktor Frankl found meaning and purpose even as a Nazi concentration camp prisoner. He noticed that those fellow prisoners lacking a sense of purpose gave up and died more quickly than those with purpose.
Those with purpose were the people more likely to survive – they looked back on their lives with a sense of satisfaction and looked forward to future achievements. Frankl found his purpose in helping his fellow prisoners to find meaning and purpose, even in those extreme conditions of suffering.
For example, the scientist who decided he wanted to finish his book, and the father who desperately wanted to be reunited with his child (safely) overseas.
Frankl found that even in extreme suffering, we can change the way we think about that situation, to give us a sense of purpose.
Find YOUR purpose
In order to find your purpose, try doing and experiencing different things. Find your passion! You will know when you find it, from how you feel, and that sense of fulfilment and deep satisfaction.
Ask yourself what do you really enjoy doing?
What is your passion? What really inspires you? What are you really skilled at?
What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want to be your legacy?
Be open minded and flexible in how you think about things.
Don’t discount anything! We often have several different purposes, or life values.
For example: Being a good wife and mother, being a writer, being a teacher.
Each one can give you that sense of fulfilment.
Meaning and purpose can change over time.
Ask yourself how important certain aspects of your life are. Which of these (or others) are MOST important to you? Score them on a scale of 0 – 5 with 0 being not at all important, and 5 being most important.
You may find that you have several life values or purposes.
You might find it useful to identify the 1 or 2 that are MOST important to you. Those you feel most passionate about. You have found your life’s purpose!
One of the sites I use to help with my Life coaching clients is
www.getselfhelp.co.uk
When I do a life coaching session, I ask you what your life purpose is, goals etc and very often my clients get confused and lose their way in life and this is useful to help you find that purpose or goal.
If you need help, book a life coaching session and let me help you find that happy medium in life.
Derek holds Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced & Basic counselling. Is fully insured and follows national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.
Derek is often asked to do Motivational & Spiritual Workshops, Psychic shows and events with music from the past present & future.
His motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “
This program has been designed from various sources of information gathered by Derek over several years, he uses his skills to assist you in moving forward with your weight loss, using mindfulness, hypnotherapy, counselling, CBT and life coaching skills.
Everyone is different and this is not a diet program, this has been designed to assist you on your weight loss journey.
If you would like more information, please contact Derek McGillivray
www.ahappymedium.co.uk
Tel 07468119635 or email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk
Dereks motto – Enlightening others to success though life challenges.
Welcome to week one of your six-week weight loss program.
Congratulations on taking this first step towards, not only changing and improving your eating habits and relationships with food, but towards creating a life which is vibrant, energetic and fun. Just by being here you have all made a commitment to change so be proud of yourself – well done. We will not be using weighing scales and what I would like all of you to do this week is to decide how you will measure the success of this program. Will it be:
• Fitting back into an item of clothing / going down a size
• Being able to run a certain distance/play squash again/run upstairs without being out puff
• Re-discovering a zest for life/having more energy
• People commenting on how fantastic you look
• Your general health improving/ knowing that you are stacking all the odds in your favor for a long fruitful fulfilled life.
• Looking fantastic for that special event
Whatever measurement you use it will not be achieved overnight; this program is not a quick fix. If we make small changes that we can maintain then over time our final destination will be a very different place.
‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’
My reasons for doing this are:
I will measure its success by:
We all tell ourselves a story about why we cannot lose weight – what story do you have to tell?
Which beliefs do you currently have that have brought you to where you are now?
• I am no good at sticking to anything!
• It is not worth starting anything there are too many social events coming up!
• I always fail at whatever I try!
• My family are all big people and I am just like them!
• I do not deserve to be happier/thinner/fitter!
• I am not really that big!
• I do not care what anyone else thinks!
• I have so much weight to lose, I will never hit my target – so what’s the point!
• I have no willpower!
• I have a low metabolism so I just can’t lose weight!
• I can’t lose weight as I love food too much!
Some of your beliefs and stories will have been told to you as a child, some will be excuses and some will be pay offs. These are known as ‘limiting beliefs’ and one thing is for sure they will be holding you back.
The good news is that we are in control of what we think and believe; therefore, we have the ability to change what we think and believe! Our brain can be compared to a computer that runs software packages, we are able to rewrite the software or completely change the package.
The types of beliefs and thoughts that might serve you better are:
• I am good at seeing things through! • I am determined and always succeed! • I am different to my family! • I deserve anything I want in my life! • I am happy to part with things that are no longer beneficial to me! • People tell me how good I look, and I love it! • My metabolism is not different to anyone else’s! • My willpower is as good as or even better than others! • If I lose weight, I will feel fitter, healthier and sexier! • I can still lose weight and love eating healthy food!
Time to re-adjust my focus Schedule Appointment
We have all been brought up not to lose things or that to lose something is bad:
• If we lose possessions, we are stupid or irresponsible. • If we lose loved ones it hurts forever. • If we lose in business or a competition, we are failures.
Why then would we want to focus on losing something, for example – weight, which we know to be negative and then hope to succeed? Our ability to make something happen by focusing on it is a very powerful tool that we can all utilize.
Some of us will have spent years thinking about food and weight – what we can eat, what we cannot eat, when we should eat and when we should not eat. What we should weigh, how overweight we are. Is it any wonder we spend so much of our day focusing on these things?
How do we shift our focus?
By dismissing some of what we have been focusing on we have now created some space. We can now choose what to fill that space with and focus on new things.
Goals
‘Goals are simply dreams with dates’
Do you set yourself goals?
It is essential to set goals as they give us something new to focus on. Writing them down is also important, as in doing so we are far more likely to achieve them.
• If you set goals are, they weight related?
• What other goals could you set?
• Are your goals negative or positive goals?
Set yourself a small goal that you will achieve this week. Start thinking about setting yourself some personal goals. We will be working on them over the next few weeks. Please put together at least a draft format this week.
To create the best goals ever all your goals should be SMART goals. Specific – remember to include every little detail Measurable – how are you going to know you have achieved your goal Achievable – are there any obstacles in your way Realistic – are they possible Timed – when will you achieve this goal
You should be associated with your goal (seeing it through your own eyes) as opposed to disassociated with it (seeing yourself in the picture).
• Goals move you forward. • Short- and medium-term goals are great stepping-stones towards your longer-term ones. • Writing down your goals increases your chances of achieving them. • When you imagine achieving your goals your eyes should light up and you should feel positive.
Coaching Challenge for Week One
• What stories and beliefs do you currently have? • Which stories and beliefs would serve you better? • Which one word do you want to use, from now on, to describe your life?
Would it be: –
Vibrant Energetic Enthusiastic Serene
Fulfilled Passionate Peaceful Harmonious
Or do you have a different positive word?
• How would your life be if you upheld YOUR word in everything you did? • What would you have to change in order to do this? • How would you be different? • What else would be different? • What could hold you back from upholding YOUR word in your life?
Next, list 11 words that you associate with your word. You can do this on paper, in a book or open a file on your computer for all your notes on this program.
Now you should have a list of 12 words including YOUR word. For each word write two actions that you can do immediately, which will bring this word to life.
For example:
If the word was smile, things you could do that would make you smile might be:
• Pick up the phone and call someone who you know will make you smile • Get out some old photos or love letters that will bring on that smile.
If the word was energetic, things you could do that are energetic might be:
• Get yourself a skipping rope and skip on the spot. • Take a dog for a brisk walk around the block.
You will end up with 12 words associated with YOUR word and 24 actions to create the essence of that word. You will add to and use these next week. Schedule Appointment
Myths and Facts
‘Unlearn before you start to learn’
Before you start this program, it is essential that we clear some of the confusion around eating and exercise.
Over the past 3 decades the ‘slimming’ industry has become well and truly established. It is a multimillion-pound business thriving on people’s desire to weigh less, look thinner and in a few cases improve their health.
Similarly, we have seen a dramatic increase in the numbers of gyms and fitness centers appearing, closely followed by a boom in the ‘personal training’ market.
But there is a big difference between what the ‘dieting and slimming Industry’ tries to sell you and ‘healthy eating and healthy living’. Take a moment and think of any industry that thrives on people’s failure. If any of the products or diets were successful, then why do people keep coming back to try other diets and different products. The reason is simple! The whole industry is based on myths and this is what we want to dispel and get out of the way.
‘Do diets really work?’
• MYTH – If you reduce your calorie intake to approx. 1200 per day, which is recommended on most ‘diets’, you will lose weight.
• FACT – Low calorie dieting is neither sustainable nor healthy. You may lose weight initially, but then you will plateau, become hungry and eventually put the weight back on. This is because once you reduce your food intake to such a low calorific amount your body no longer relies on YOU to give it a regular, sustainable supply of food and so goes into ‘Starvation’ mode. Whatever you eat from now on gets stored for EMERGENCY supplies rather than being naturally released. And, what’s more, until you body regains confidence in you, it will make what it believes are survival decisions all by itself – to do what it thinks is the right thing – namely to keep you well stocked with energy…… so it becomes very difficult to lose weight long term.
‘You are what you eat’
• MYTH – No matter what I eat, I still put on weight, so I have to cut down on everything.
• FACT – Your body is entirely composed of molecules derived from the food you eat. Newborn babies are the direct result of what their mother ate and indirectly, through genetic material, what their father, grandparents, great grandparents (and so on) ate. From the moment you are born every mouthful of milk you take makes you live and grow. The food we eat is broken down through digestion and absorbed into our blood stream or eliminated in our waste. These chemicals are then used to make our muscles move our body, enable our brains to think and control our body and even allow our reproductive system to start new life. Our whole bodies are built and work because of the food we eat. Literally, you are what you eat!
Inside our bodies we don’t look exactly like the pictures in medical textbook. Like our outward features, our internal organs are all different. We all have different shaped and sized hearts, livers, kidneys and brains. We all have different amounts of chemicals such as enzymes and hormones. We all require different amounts of nutrients. You may need twice the amount of vitamin C to prevent illness than the person next to you, or perhaps hall the amount of vitamin A. The fact is you are unique.
So rather than harboring a bad belief around food which keeps you always looking to cut down, you could cultivate a new approach where you see food as your friend and life giver. As the sessions progresses you’ll see that it is a series of subtle changes to your overall diet and lifestyle – without reductions – that matter most in the long term.
‘Calories or Portions ?
• MYTH – I have to count calories in order to lose weight. • FACT – It is important to be aware of how many portions you are eating rather than the calories in them. A portion, for these purposes, is an amount of food roughly the size of your clenched fist. This is a much simpler and therefore more sustainable way of monitoring what you are eating. You can make a note of how many portions of the different food group you want to eat per day and then stick to it. It is quick and easy and can be done anywhere.
• In a nutshell, you need to treat your body with TLC – you NEED calories/energy to not only survive but to feel positive, happy and ALIVE! Just choose portions and really healthy foods and leave the numbers behind.
‘I have no will power to stop eating’
• MYTH – Overeating is a natural instinct, inherited or even genetic. • FACT – Evolution has let us down here, well coupled with the abundance of food in the western world. Back in the old days, I mean the very old days, when cavemen were hunter gathers and had to hunt their food. It was not unusual to consume vast amounts of food at one time in order to carry you over till the next feast. Our bodies soon learnt to store any excess energy (from the food) as fat until required. Our bodies still store excess fat. The problem is that we no longer have to go more than a few hours without eating so there is an enormous amount of excess energy, which gets stored as fat.
So, although we may have once favored over-eating it is not now needed and we can CHOOSE to eat when our bodies really want or need it.
• MYTH – Three square meals is the best way to eat. • FACT – Eating 3 meals per day or grazing are both absolutely fine. If you’ve always eaten 3 x per day and it suits you, then stick to that and visa versa for grazing. Don’t fight your patterns, instead go with your natural flow. The big question isn’t ‘Which is the best eating option’? It’s ‘WHAT it is you are eating’?
‘I exercise, why should I worry about what I eat?
• MYTH – If you exercise it doesn’t matter what you eat.
• FACT – If you exercise it matters even more what you eat. If you are physically active you will need more nutrients than the ‘couch potato’, without them you will not get the results you desire. You need nutrients in your system in order to perform at an effective level as well as to recover from the exercise. If you do not have a good level of nutrients the exercise will be less effective, you may feel worse for it and you are very likely to throw in the towel and claim that ‘exercise doesn’t work for me!’
‘Women and weightlifting – should we?
• MYTH – Women who lift weights gain too much muscle. • FACT – Resistance work helps create lean toned bodies for women. Ask any body builder how much commitment and hard work it takes to build muscle and you will feel happier that 2 or 3 sessions a week of resistance or weight training will not cause you to ‘bulk up’. Quite the contrary, fat takes up 5 times the space than muscle on your body. Besides, body builders train at very different levels and with different techniques, which are not available to the general public. Therefore, if you were to reduce the amount of fat on your body and build up the amount of muscle you would actually look thinner, leaner and more toned.
Women should be more worried about not having enough muscle rather than having too much. Weightlifting or any weight baring exercise is absolutely vital for women. It is the only way to offset osteoporosis, the sooner you start the better. This way you have more time to build bone density. A good rule of thumb for any resistance training is pick lighter weights and higher repetition. For example, choose a weight that will allow you to repeat the movement between 10 -15 times in one go.
‘Too much exercise can prevent results’
• MYTH – Exercise as long and as often as you can. This way you get more results. • FACT – The most effective workouts are short, intense and very effective. It is important when exercising to stimulate the muscles to burn fat as efficiently as possible. Too much exercise can become boring, too time consuming and anti-social, our minds then switch off and we struggle to do anything at all. Short bursts can give you excellent results, clear the mind and allow you to focus on short-term goals. Ideally, you want to exercise for 20-30 minutes three times per week (and this can include a brisk walk with the dog) and you want to feel that you’ve done some work but that you are not dying on your feet. Ultimately it is consistency that beats intensity every time. For
example, regularly exercising 2-3 times per week at a moderate intensity (explained later) for six months is by far better than intense but sporadic training here and there.
‘Aerobics or Weights?’ • MYTH – Aerobics is better for shaping up than weights.
• FACT – To transform your shape you must train with weights. Any physical activity is far better for you than sitting in an office all day and flopping down in front of a TV all night but to tone up and change shape you have to include some resistance/weight training. Another big benefit of weight training is that it increases your metabolic rate, the rate at which your body burns fat. Muscle requires a supply of energy (calories) in order to exist, fat on the other hand requires no energy at all. Therefore the more muscle you have the more energy will be used (calories burnt), even when you are asleep. Aerobic exercise alone will help you to initially lose weight but not to change shape and look slender and toned. With only aerobics you won’t be able to sustain the benefits, very much like dieting. A combination of aerobic exercise and weight training is the most sustainable and by far the healthiest way of life.
Finally, food not only helps keep you alive but when you consciously move towards healthier choices, food can clear your complexion, give you extra energy, lift your spirits and mood, make your day, help you sleep and de-stress your internal body. So, there is a lot to be gained from learning to love your food again as it can literally change your world.
Now that we have cleared up some of the most popular Myths and Facts you will be able to use the information in the following weeks more efficiently, effectively and see some fantastic results.
Heart & Soul
Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.
In today’s world many things are measured by the speed in which we can perform and deliver them. The expectations upon us grow by the day from employers, employees, partners, children, friends and family. Our lives are so busy with the tasks at hand, our minds so full of the next requirement upon us; we seldom give ourselves any of our own time. It is all to easy to find ourselves without clarity, direction and space as we go from symptom to symptom, reacting to life and allowing ourselves to be taken where life leads us. Schedule Appointment
This section is intended to slow you down, chill you out, incorporate a little fun into your life and make you feel great. When you build some ME time into your life you will find it easier to focus on the really important things, you will be proactive and be able to deal with the cause of an issue and above all you will be back in the driving seat and taking control of your journey.
• Do something each day this week that will show up YOUR word at its best.
• Buy yourself a magazine, take the phone off the hook, put your feet up and read it.
• Imagine that one of the articles held the secret to changing your life for the better, in fact learning to take time out can do that for you.
• Who is the smiliest/happiest person you know – think of them when your smile starts to fade. How would they deal with this situation?
• Send someone special a card to let them know you care.
• Add three drops of lavender to a cup of mineral water and spray it from an atomizer when you need to feel relaxed.
• Only say yes when you really mean it
• Be as forgiving of yourself as you are of other people.
Have a great week, have loads of fun and go make some changes.
Top Tips for Week One
Simple Ways to include Fruit & Vegetable’s each day Ideas for fruit:
• Make yourself a tropical fruit salad all the family can enjoy.
• Have a bowl of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries for breakfast. Add some natural or fruit yoghurt and muesli.
• Try a fruit you’ve never tried before.
• Carry a banana or apple in your bag in case you get hungry when you’re out.
• Have a bowl of fruit in your office.
• Add grapes or orange to a green salad.
• Try eating a different fruit every day of the week.
• Have a glass of juice for breakfast.
• Keep a stock of frozen or tinned fruit (in juice, not syrup)
• If you always get hungry at the same time (e.g. mid-morning), schedule in a snack of dried or fresh fruit.
• Whiz up a smoothie in a blender. Try strawberries, banana and yoghurt with low fat milk.
Ideas for vegetables:
• Go for color. Have as many different colored vegetables in one week as you can.
• Snack on raw vegetables such as carrots, celery, peppers and cucumber.
• Order a side salad every time you eat out but beware the dressing.
• Buy a vegetarian cookbook and try vegetarian meals once or twice a week.
• Make salads interesting. Use crunchy raw vegetables or unusual herbs.
• If you have pizza or pasta, try ones loaded with vegetable and extra tomato sauce.
• Always add salad to sandwiches.
• Don’t forget vegetable soups -homemade or bought.
• Keep the freezer full of frozen vegetables so you always have some in stock.
• Eat broccoli and carrots – they are amazingly full of nutrients.
• Experiment with vegetables you’ve never tried.
• Have an extra portion of vegetables instead of potatoes.
Therefore, as you can see addictions, dependant alcoholics, and other types of alcoholics and drug addicts may alter. First all, any chemical that causes harm is a potential danger to your being.
In my studies and opinions, I disagree with alcoholism and drug addictions if the person can stop once the mental illness is treated. This means that the person was suffering, and the substances was a mechanism to help them cope.
On the other hand, if the person is treated for mental illnesses and his or her drug and alcohol habits continue, then I think you had better get out the chair and start talking ‘one day at a time.’ Alcohol was once known as the “Devils Drink.” The White men are the originator of the source, and since its beginning it has caused serious complications, including death, abuse, and other related crimes.
Psychogenic lies outside of scientific insight and is often linked to religious ritualistic and supernatural forces, which are often marked by influences, perception, sensory, morals, immaterial, and so forth. It has been witnessed by few that trauma patients often have a higher level of perception and sensory tools and have been known to have sixth senses and shared pains. This is a new subject that will be addressed later, but I wanted to separate the two. The two are separate from the psychic mind and often linked to the sources.
Now we come back to the psychic mind where these people are misled into believing they have contact with other worlds and can predict or foreseen outdated. Most likely, the person had some connection in the first place, whether the information was in a book read and forgotten or what-have you and yes this can happen. But if you have been trained and are of sound mind, demonstrated your skills in public or private, you have to ask is there something to this? or is it just some delusional mind?
But the What if? question is how many people have be wrongly diagnosed delusional, when in fact they had gifts and skills that can help us all. The world has many problems and until we all face up to reality and truth we are never going to find the answers to the many problems that often sit in front of our faces.
As a result, I was often asked to do wedding ceremonies, or invited to christening of new-born babies.
It’s your day so let’s make it really special and unforgettable for you.
It seems that everyone else has a wonderful family time…..except me? This a common statement from my clients at this time of year.
Use the an alternative cycle to decide how you can make things better.
I can do this.
The pursuit of happiness can lead us to feel stressed, frustrated, depressed, anxious.
Viktor Frankl found meaning and purpose even as a Nazi concentration camp prisoner. He noticed that those fellow prisoners lacking a sense of purpose gave up and died more quickly than those with purpose.
Be open minded and flexible in how you think about things.
When I do a life coaching session, I ask you what your life purpose is, goals etc and very often my clients get confused and lose their way in life and this is useful to help you find that purpose or goal.
This program has been designed from various sources of information gathered by Derek over several years, he uses his skills to assist you in moving forward with your weight loss, using mindfulness, hypnotherapy, counselling, CBT and life coaching skills.
• Fitting back into an item of clothing / going down a size
Why then would we want to focus on losing something, for example – weight, which we know to be negative and then hope to succeed?
Set yourself a small goal that you will achieve this week. Start thinking about setting yourself some personal goals. We will be working on them over the next few weeks. Please put together at least a draft format this week.
Vibrant Energetic Enthusiastic Serene
‘You are what you eat’
‘I have no will power to stop eating’
‘Women and weightlifting – should we?
Many people will walk in and out of your life.
• Make yourself a tropical fruit salad all the family can enjoy.