My Dream Partner

My Dream Partner

My Dream Partner

This blog is about finding that true love, even if you have a loving and caring partner, spread this to someone who’s been suffering from a bad relationship, a loss or have been lonely. Everyone has true love inside them its sharing that love and finding the right person is a journey full of lessons and hurdles to overcome. There is no right or wrong there is just is love.

After some of my own personal challenges with diabetes, where we have to deal with change, fear and sometimes acceptance. Knowing that you could die from hypos or the sugar highs, you soon realize that life has to be lived in the now, you learn to cope with what you can’t change, but we also learn that solutions can be found, if we keep positive, never give up! Give others the chance to help you, and most of all give yourself a chance to help yourself by stopping and taking the time out to look after your own needs and wants. We can’t help others unless we help and support ourselves!

The saying givers gain is true, only if you give back to yourself. If you need help to get the balance back and find that happy medium in your life by putting yourself first, when we take back that control, we are ready to find that true balance in life and hopefully find that true love of an other.

Living on the edge of life, can be inspiring. We can all jump into something without thinking of the consequences but we all have the power within to take a step back from the edge and enjoy the view, we should only jump of the edge when we know it’s right and we have a parachute to soften the landing, so we can also enjoy the journey on the way down. This is me at the top of a hill in front of Ben Nevis where a lot of folk jump of in a parachute, made me think about my life and how nice it would be to take a risk again when i was getting over a relationship.
Wild flowers remind us that beautiful things can happen even in hard to grow areas, all they need is a little light and love.
Spread some light and love today to those in your life going though the darkest challenges life can bring us at times. When we send it unconditionally with love, they then can see it’s possible to recover and flower again!
This was flowers I was drawn to and took photos of before a reading I did with someone who lost her husband and she was still very young and needed to move forward, a rose is a strong beautiful flower but has thorns that can hurt you. But we still move on!

We can all stand alone on the top of a mountain and look back on the journey there, at times we feel like giving up, we feel the pain, we lack the resources and energy to carry on, then just as you feel you want to give up some stranger you don’t know comes out of the blue and offers you help a drink and bit of food. 

Life gives us what we need we just have to learn to receive as well as giving out. We all have mountains to climb some bigger than others, you may have to regroup, think again, go a different route but when you finally achieve it after learning the lessons on the journey there, we then feel we can climb a bigger one and have the strength to reach the top every time.

If we believe in ourselves others will believe in you and help you on your way. Never allow that big mountains in life we climb, to defeat you. Allow yourself the time and energy and most of all the love from others to drive you to the top!

When I was working on the Psychic phone lines on National TV, one of the most common questions was what will my next partner be like? what do you see? The fact that as a psychic, we only see possibilities and options there is never any guarantees, this made me question why so many people fail to learn from past mistakes? What could I do to encourage success in relationships?
The first thing we need to accept is you need to work at it, don’t give up, people change over time, it a constant change, learning and when it works, its beautiful to see and feel.
 Your time is very important and as we get older we value our time more!
My Time
My time has a value and worth.
My time is given wisely.
My time goes to quick I can’t catch it.
My time is wasted by others.
My time has been lost.
But your time has come and your time is now.
Put down the phone and all the other time consuming devices.
As my time is mine to use not to waste on others who don’t value my time.
Spend time with yourself and listen to yourself, make time today
If your seeing people who waste your time then its time to move on, those who say yes, we will do this and that and don’t, are not worth your time and energy.
Not every woman or man you meet will become a lover, but they could become great friends, who have friends also, that could become a lover. If you keep meeting the same type of partners and it doesn’t work out try going or doing something different, you wont meet your dream partner in your local pub if you been with all the available women/ men and find there not for you.
I was also told by a wise woman,” rejection is gods protection.” so don’t take it to heart.
Ask where can I go?
What type of person do I want to meet?
Where do these people go?
Am I confident at asking people out? If  not how can I gain confidence?
Use positive loving affirmations to gain confidence.
Relationship Affirmations
 
I have happy relationships. Positive Daily Affirmations for Relationships
Examples of positive daily affirmations for relationships include:
1. I am a confident and positive person, and confident and positive persons gravitate toward me every day.
2. I know who I obviously am and what I like in personal relationships.
3. I am attracting powerfully positive and healthy people into my life.
4. I am caring, smart, supportive, loyal, and fun to be with.
5. I feel completely at ease and comfortable with all types of people.
6. I am winning in all my relationships.
7. I am a positive and valuable contributor to my relationships.
8. I possess complete ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings to everyone, and I express myself wisely.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!
I found this tool a few years back and its a useful tool to help in seeking that dream partner.
This tool helps you imagine the qualities of your dream partner. By making a quiz about your dream partner you can create a clear picture of them in their mind.
When you have finished, you will have a list of the qualities you would like in a future partner.
Then, when you meet them – you will be able to recognize them straight away!
 
Part II is often the part people overlook.
Replace “He” and “She” below as appropriate.
Part I: Questions To Discover Your Future Partners Qualities
What qualities do you want your potential partner to demonstrate?
Think about your answers to these questions to get some ideas:
“How does he make me feel special?”
“What does she do when I’m sick in bed?”
“How does he show affection?”
“How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
“How does he make me laugh?”
“Her most important quality is …”
“The best thing about him is …”
For example:
Question: “How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
Qualities: He is respectful, attentive and kind.
Part II: Your Qualities
Love is not what you get, but what you give.
Harley M Storey

Now write down the qualities you will bring to the relationship.
Part III: Identifying Your Partners Qualities
In Part I you wrote a list of the qualities of your Future Partner.
But when you meet someone, how will you know if they have those qualities?
Now, write down examples of how they will express those qualities and what actions and behavior will demonstrate those qualities.
For example:
Question: “How does he treat me in company when we go out?”
Qualities: He is respectful, attentive and kind.
Behavior: He is attentive and considerate to me, and kind to the waitress.”

A card reading is a great fun way to look at your options, whether is a tarot or angel card reading I feel it does help to make your mind up. 



Life is full of choices, we can choose to remain positive though the tough times and find the strength to carry on, by doing so we encourage others to do the same. We can all remain positive and find that belief in ourselves that nothing stays the same and your time will come, if we keep dreaming of a positive outcome in time that dream will come true!

Don’t let life’s challenges, stop you from loving yourself, others can put you down, or make life difficult. We can’t change them as they can only change themselves, but we can top ourselves up of love, if the love has stopped coming as we all made of love ❤️ So stop procrastinating, get that cup of love, breathe and let go of what no longer serves you, anger, hate, etc and think of the new opportunities in the now and ahead, embrace the love inside and keep spreading true love to all!

If you need help, book a session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

The lessons of Discernment by Derek McGillivray.

The lessons of Discernment by Derek McGillivray.

Be strong and practice the lessons from discernment, be empowered and take the control back from those situations where you have felt used and hurt by others. Discernment is a gift we are given to cope with life’s challenges, use it wisely!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

What does discernment mean?

In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, when we feel we are being lead up the garden path, by others, or when false promises are given. That can be in work, personal relationships or false claims by retailers etc.

The true meaning of Discernment from Wikipedia  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discernment

Discernment is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well (or the activity of so doing). In the case of judgment, discernment can be psychological or moral in nature. In the sphere of judgment, discernment involves going past the mere perception of something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities. Considered as a virtue, a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgement; especially so with regard to subject matter often overlooked by others.

 

How does using discernment help you?

In my own life I had to use discernment a few times, where I learnt not to give energy to those who I had once thought were genuine and then was miss lead, I never followed my gut feelings which I regretted at the time, from pyramid marketing scams, to love issues, we have all had that sort of experience at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s not the persons fault, they may have been miss lead themselves, or in some cases they are ill, so I still practice forgiveness but they have to forgive their actions as they are the ones who caused it.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

If we stay in the anger or the hate mode, we only hurt ourselves, we have to let it go, and that to me is what discernment is all about. Letting go of that horrible feeling of being hurt and used, is a part of the healing process.

A lot of my clients come to me after such experiences, from a sudden change in relationships with their partner to being let down by others, even family, and its hard for them to let go and discernment is something we talk about, cutting the cords, not putting energy to such negative behaviours of others is hard, but its a way of letting go, we cant change the other person we can only change the way we feel about them.

 

As the cards say, we need to pay attention to the red flags, and when we practice discernment, we become free from the emotions and we can then take the control back, its not easy and we can ask friends to help by being with them and doing fun stuff, do a bit of meditating, mindfulness, clear away all the emotions and start with a clean sheet.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

A card reading or a life coaching session can help, it helped me when I had to go though hard situation in my life, where its hard to let go. being playful with friends can help. The lesson of discernment is hard and it how you deal with it in the present moment that matters.

 

 

To do something different, you do get a different result!

If we send Love and healing to them as they need it more than you, we change the way we feel, I remember once at a union meeting with the Oil companies and I really felt annoyed and frustrated with one of the main company directors who had lead us down the garden path a few times before, promised reviews and investigations about some of our issues and he did the opposite, one of my colleges from a different union who had been in the miners strike told me never get angry, just send them love as they need it more than you, discern yourself from the anger in that moment, as I remember his talk, I tried sending love instead of raising to his bate and getting worked up.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

I went quiet and the thought came into my head, I stood up and said hey “Mr we can agree on something,” he then went away on one of his rants about never being able to agree with a young militant trade unionist, who had shut down the north sea. I kept calm and made a bet with him that we can agree, he then said “OK what can we agree on?” I just said “We can agree to disagree!!”, everyone burst out laughing, we did in fact talk and agree on a way forward, so that lesson of discernment was not easy but very effective that day.

We will never agree with or please everybody, accept that in life, debate your corner calmly and with reasoned debates, agree to disagree but move forward. It’s our differences that make us unique, new ideas or thoughts can bring fear and frustration, when we accept change and work though it together, you learn to appreciate that some changes are for your greater good, life brings us challenges its how we deal with them in the now that matter. To have peace and love in your life learn to compromise and accept change with and open heart. If others cant see that, then practice discernment and don’t look back!

See the solution now, don’t wait for it to come to you, grab the moment and turn it into that special time, where we try a new direction, that could lead you to achieve success. The best plan is one that can be changed to create that victory!

 

Don’t let negativity close your eyes to the future possibilities! Use the lesson of discernment to achieve the success you deserve.
 

If you need help to find solutions to your challenges book an appointment and let’s find A Happy Medium to gain success!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

As I said in the video the word Discernment has Biblical meaning for those that are interested here it is.
The spiritual gift of discernment is also known as the gift of “discernment of spirits” or “distinguishing between spirits.” The Greek word for the gift of discernment is Diakrisis. The word describes being able to distinguish, discern, judge or appraise a person, statement, situation, or environment. In the New Testament it describes the ability to distinguish between spirits as in 1 Corinthians 12:10, and to discern good and evil as in Hebrews 5:14.

The Holy Spirit gives the gift of discernment to enable certain Christians to clearly recognize and distinguish between the influence of God, Satan, the world, and the flesh in a given situation. The church needs those with this gift to warn believers in times of danger or keep them from being led astray by false teaching. See also I Corinthians 12:10Acts 5:3-616:16-181 John 4:1.www.ahappymedium.co.uk

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Life never stays the same, so embrace change as part of your life!

Life never stays the same, so embrace change as part of your life!

Fear of change? In my life I’ve had to come out of comfort zones, enforced change by no fault of my own, life throws you stuff unexpectedly. But when we look back the lessons we learn, the new skills, and the confidence you gain is worth no amount of money, but its worth as much as a pot of gold, plus we gain the strength from within. So if you need to change or accept change, do it with an open mind and embrace the new experiences with a strong heart and a determined positive mind!


I know its not easy to accept change but in order to accept change we have to look at what we do now?

How many of us have got into the habit of waking up and looking at our phones, Facebook, and so on. We don’t allow ourselves time to fully wake up, we get back into that stress fullness behaviour straight away. If we tried just to listen to soft music or to the sounds of nature outside, Kids playing and talking, sitting down to eat a proper breakfast. Not the news and all the heavy stuff on TVs and phones especially if you know you have a busy day ahead at work, why take on the worlds problems as well, when you have your own stuff to deal with, focus on what you can influence on the day.
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Being bullied is not change!

Don’t be bullied into doing what you don’t want to do!
very often I get clients who are stressed and burnt out as they don’t know how to say no.
What I can suggest you say instead is

 
Sorry that doesn’t work for me just now!
I am Fine we say to our friends.
Let’s define FINE
F Frustrated
I indecisive
N Neurotic
E Exhausted

So by saying just fine, we are really saying we are not happy.
so look at what you can change! Your attitude for one.
As all things are created by our thoughts let’s start with a Happy thought.
Define HAPPY
H Healthy
A Abundant
P Persistent
P Positive
Y Youthful
Fine is not good enough.
We are what we think we are, so be HAPPY and think happy thoughts,
If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

You have to believe to receive!

When we have to have purpose in our life it makes change easier, We have to have a why sometimes.

Ifs it about money or lack of as often change can mean less money, think about this.

Let’s just say Sod it to all our money issues and have no judgement around money and just accepting things as they are.

Money is just an exchange, imagine a world with out money, if what you have to offer is worth enough to other people, then they’ll give you lots of things in return E,G I need flowers in my garden in return or painting done so that’s what my exchange would be I would then have loads of nice colours around me making me happy, which I would value.

We are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world, the more the world values you the more you get back, what tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well.

Very often as a way of getting into a new company I would offer to work for free, as I knew my worth, I changed my thought and just thought about working there and enjoying it before I even thought about the money, very often it worked out better than, than what was being offered anyway, as they seen my added value.

So start by valuing yourself because you’re worth it!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Now write your contract to yourself like this below

My “Contract for Change” with myself

I, …………………………………………………… take personal responsibility

for creating change within my life. I will begin the PROJECT(S) called

……………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………

……………………………………………………………………………………

and formally make a contract with myself to see this project through. I have

listed the benefits of living in the solution and I know who I need to become

to complete this project, and I hereby declare that I will commence living in

the solution and being the person I need to be.

Signed: ………………………………………………………………………

Witnessed: ………………………………………………………………………

Dated: ………………………………………………………………………

You need to see it first, one of the tools I use is

Letter from the Future

Write a letter from the future, describing what your life is like now that you have achieved your goals successfully. Do it for each goal Address it to yourself with the date that it is to be achieved. Tell yourself in detail how your life looks, feels, and who you have become as a person at the time of achieving your goal. Remember to write down what you need in your life as much as you want, Take your time.

By doing this your already setting it up in your mind and letting the universe deliver it.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My intuitive life coaching sessions are for the purpose of helping you with any challenges that you may currently have or are facing. I also use my skills and tools to help you help yourself, whether it’s spiritual guidance, relationship advice, employment advice, goal setting, loose weight, overcome fears & phobia’s or just general guidance in life.

I hold a Diploma in Life coaching, have a great track record of assisting my clients achieve their goals, with my experience of business & personal mentoring and industrial relations, I can be that neutral person that can see the issues and challenges with in your personal life or the organisations you run or work with, that you cant see and assist in achieving solutions that can move you in the right direction.

“I love helping people help themselves, to be unsuccessful is not an option, to achieve success is my only goal.” DMcG