Worry Only About the Problems in Your Circle of Influence.

The author and leadership guru Stephen Covey encourages us to only focus on concerns that we have control over. He outlines the “circle of concerns” as all of the stuff that worries us – and then a smaller “circle of influence” (within the larger “circle of concerns”) that only contains stuff that we can actually control.

His point, of course, is that we should only spend our energy on stuff that we can do something about. Focus only on problems that lie within your “circle of influence.”

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Your energy becomes fractured and depleted as you start to obsess over details and situations that are beyond your control. Ultimately  your ideas and projects will suffer. So don’t waste time on things and situations you cant change in the present moment, focus on what you can change, Your attitude first to a positive one!

THE MINDFULL WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM

BY DEREK MCGILLIVRAY

This program has been designed from various sources of information gathered by Derek over several years, he uses his skills to assist you in moving forward with your weight loss, using mindfulness, hypnotherapy, counselling, CBT and life coaching skills.
Everyone is different and this is not a diet program, this has been designed to assist you on your weight loss journey.

If you would like more information, please contact Derek McGillivray

www.ahappymedium.co.uk

Tel 07468119635 or email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

Dereks motto – Enlightening others to success though life challenges.

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Free information below to help you start week one,

Welcome to week one of your six-week weight loss program.
Congratulations on taking this first step towards, not only changing and improving your eating habits and relationships with food, but towards creating a life which is vibrant, energetic and fun. Just by being here you have all made a commitment to change so be proud of yourself – well done.
We will not be using weighing scales and what I would like all of you to do this week is to decide how you will measure the success of this program. Will it be:

• Fitting back into an item of clothing / going down a size
• Being able to run a certain distance/play squash again/run upstairs without being out puff
• Re-discovering a zest for life/having more energy
• People commenting on how fantastic you look
• Your general health improving/ knowing that you are stacking all the odds in your favor for a long fruitful fulfilled life.
• Looking fantastic for that special event

Whatever measurement you use it will not be achieved overnight; this program is not a quick fix. If we make small changes that we can maintain then over time our final destination will be a very different place.

‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’

My reasons for doing this are:

I will measure its success by:

We all tell ourselves a story about why we cannot lose weight – what story do you have to tell?
Which beliefs do you currently have that have brought you to where you are now?

• I am no good at sticking to anything!
• It is not worth starting anything there are too many social events coming up!
• I always fail at whatever I try!
• My family are all big people and I am just like them!
• I do not deserve to be happier/thinner/fitter!
• I am not really that big!
• I do not care what anyone else thinks!
• I have so much weight to lose, I will never hit my target – so what’s the point!
• I have no willpower!
• I have a low metabolism so I just can’t lose weight!
• I can’t lose weight as I love food too much!

Some of your beliefs and stories will have been told to you as a child, some will be excuses and some will be pay offs. These are known as ‘limiting beliefs’ and one thing is for sure they will be holding you back.
The good news is that we are in control of what we think and believe; therefore, we have the ability to change what we think and believe! Our brain can be compared to a computer that runs software packages, we are able to rewrite the software or completely change the package.

The types of beliefs and thoughts that might serve you better are:

• I am good at seeing things through!
• I am determined and always succeed!
• I am different to my family!
• I deserve anything I want in my life!
• I am happy to part with things that are no longer beneficial to me!
• People tell me how good I look, and I love it!
• My metabolism is not different to anyone else’s!
• My willpower is as good as or even better than others!
• If I lose weight, I will feel fitter, healthier and sexier!
• I can still lose weight and love eating healthy food!

Time to re-adjust my focus
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We have all been brought up not to lose things or that to lose something is bad:

• If we lose possessions, we are stupid or irresponsible.
• If we lose loved ones it hurts forever.
• If we lose in business or a competition, we are failures.

Why then would we want to focus on losing something, for example – weight, which we know to be negative and then hope to succeed?
Our ability to make something happen by focusing on it is a very powerful tool that we can all utilize.
Some of us will have spent years thinking about food and weight – what we can eat, what we cannot eat, when we should eat and when we should not eat. What we should weigh, how overweight we are. Is it any wonder we spend so much of our day focusing on these things?

How do we shift our focus?

By dismissing some of what we have been focusing on we have now created some space. We can now choose what to fill that space with and focus on new things.

Goals

‘Goals are simply dreams with dates’

Do you set yourself goals?

It is essential to set goals as they give us something new to focus on. Writing them down is also important, as in doing so we are far more likely to achieve them.

• If you set goals are, they weight related?
• What other goals could you set?
• Are your goals negative or positive goals?

Set yourself a small goal that you will achieve this week. Start thinking about setting yourself some personal goals. We will be working on them over the next few weeks. Please put together at least a draft format this week.

To create the best goals ever all your goals should be SMART goals.
Specific – remember to include every little detail
Measurable –  how are you going to know you have achieved your goal
Achievable – are there any obstacles in your way
Realistic –  are they possible
Timed  – when will you achieve this goal

You should be associated with your goal (seeing it through your own eyes) as opposed to disassociated with it (seeing yourself in the picture).

• Goals move you forward.
• Short- and medium-term goals are great stepping-stones towards your longer-term ones.
• Writing down your goals increases your chances of achieving them.
• When you imagine achieving your goals your eyes should light up and you should feel positive.

Coaching Challenge for Week One

• What stories and beliefs do you currently have?
• Which stories and beliefs would serve you better?
• Which one word do you want to use, from now on, to describe your life?

Would it be: –

Vibrant Energetic Enthusiastic Serene
Fulfilled Passionate Peaceful Harmonious
Or do you have a different positive word?

• How would your life be if you upheld YOUR word in everything you did?
• What would you have to change in order to do this?
• How would you be different?
• What else would be different?
• What could hold you back from upholding YOUR word in your life?

Next, list 11 words that you associate with your word. You can do this on paper, in a book or open a file on your computer for all your notes on this program.
Now you should have a list of 12 words including YOUR word. For each word write two actions that you can do immediately, which will bring this word to life.

For example:
If the word was smile, things you could do that would make you smile might be:

• Pick up the phone and call someone who you know will make you smile
• Get out some old photos or love letters that will bring on that smile.

If the word was energetic, things you could do that are energetic might be:

• Get yourself a skipping rope and skip on the spot.
• Take a dog for a brisk walk around the block.

You will end up with 12 words associated with YOUR word and 24 actions to create the essence of that word. You will add to and use these next week.
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Myths and Facts

‘Unlearn before you start to learn’

Before you start this program, it is essential that we clear some of the confusion around eating and exercise.
Over the past 3 decades the ‘slimming’ industry has become well and truly established. It is a multimillion-pound business thriving on people’s desire to weigh less, look thinner and in a few cases improve their health.

Similarly, we have seen a dramatic increase in the numbers of gyms and fitness centers appearing, closely followed by a boom in the ‘personal training’ market.

But there is a big difference between what the ‘dieting and slimming Industry’ tries to sell you and ‘healthy eating and healthy living’. Take a moment and think of any industry that thrives on people’s failure. If any of the products or diets were successful, then why do people keep coming back to try other diets and different products. The reason is simple! The whole industry is based on myths and this is what we want to dispel and get out of the way.

‘Do diets really work?’

• MYTH – If you reduce your calorie intake to approx. 1200 per day, which is recommended on most ‘diets’, you will lose weight.

• FACT – Low calorie dieting is neither sustainable nor healthy. You may lose weight initially, but then you will plateau, become hungry and eventually put the weight back on. This is because once you reduce your food intake to such a low calorific amount your body no longer relies on YOU to give it a regular, sustainable supply of food and so goes into ‘Starvation’ mode. Whatever you eat from now on gets stored for EMERGENCY supplies rather than being naturally released. And, what’s more, until you body regains confidence in you, it will make what it believes are survival decisions all by itself – to do what it thinks is the right thing – namely to keep you well stocked with energy…… so it becomes very difficult to lose weight long term.

‘You are what you eat’

• MYTH – No matter what I eat, I still put on weight, so I have to cut down on everything.

• FACT – Your body is entirely composed of molecules derived from the food you eat. Newborn babies are the direct result of what their mother ate and indirectly, through genetic material, what their father, grandparents, great grandparents (and so on) ate. From the moment you are born every mouthful of milk you take makes you live and grow. The food we eat is broken down through digestion and absorbed into our blood stream or eliminated in our waste. These chemicals are then used to make our muscles move our body, enable our brains to think and control our body and even allow our reproductive system to start new life. Our whole bodies are built and work because of the food we eat. Literally, you are what you eat!

Inside our bodies we don’t look exactly like the pictures in medical textbook. Like our outward features, our internal organs are all different. We all have different shaped and sized hearts, livers, kidneys and brains. We all have different amounts of chemicals such as enzymes and hormones. We all require different amounts of nutrients. You may need twice the amount of vitamin C to prevent illness than the person next to you, or perhaps hall the amount of vitamin A. The fact is you are unique.

So rather than harboring a bad belief around food which keeps you always looking to cut down, you could cultivate a new approach where you see food as your friend and life giver. As the sessions progresses you’ll see that it is a series of subtle changes to your overall diet and lifestyle – without reductions – that matter most in the long term.

‘Calories or Portions ?

• MYTH – I have to count calories in order to lose weight.
• FACT – It is important to be aware of how many portions you are eating rather than the calories in them. A portion, for these purposes, is an amount of food roughly the size of your clenched fist. This is a much simpler and therefore more sustainable way of monitoring what you are eating. You can make a note of how many portions of the different food group you want to eat per day and then stick to it. It is quick and easy and can be done anywhere.
• In a nutshell, you need to treat your body with TLC – you NEED calories/energy to not only survive but to feel positive, happy and ALIVE! Just choose portions and really healthy foods and leave the numbers behind.

‘I have no will power to stop eating’

• MYTH – Overeating is a natural instinct, inherited or even genetic.
• FACT – Evolution has let us down here, well coupled with the abundance of food in the western world. Back in the old days, I mean the very old days, when cavemen were hunter gathers and had to hunt their food. It was not unusual to consume vast amounts of food at one time in order to carry you over till the next feast. Our bodies soon learnt to store any excess energy (from the food) as fat until required. Our bodies still store excess fat. The problem is that we no longer have to go more than a few hours without eating so there is an enormous amount of excess energy, which gets stored as fat.
So, although we may have once favored over-eating it is not now needed and we can CHOOSE to eat when our bodies really want or need it.

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‘Feasting or Grazing’

• MYTH – Three square meals is the best way to eat.
• FACT – Eating 3 meals per day or grazing are both absolutely fine. If you’ve always eaten 3 x per day and it suits you, then stick to that and visa versa for grazing. Don’t fight your patterns, instead go with your natural flow. The big question isn’t ‘Which is the best eating option’? It’s ‘WHAT it is you are eating’?

‘I exercise, why should I worry about what I eat?

• MYTH – If you exercise it doesn’t matter what you eat.
• FACT – If you exercise it matters even more what you eat. If you are physically active you will need more nutrients than the ‘couch potato’, without them you will not get the results you desire. You need nutrients in your system in order to perform at an effective level as well as to recover from the exercise. If you do not have a good level of nutrients the exercise will be less effective, you may feel worse for it and you are very likely to throw in the towel and claim that ‘exercise doesn’t work for me!’

‘Women and weightlifting – should we?

• MYTH – Women who lift weights gain too much muscle.
• FACT – Resistance work helps create lean toned bodies for women. Ask any body builder how much commitment and hard work it takes to build muscle and you will feel happier that 2 or 3 sessions a week of resistance or weight training will not cause you to ‘bulk up’. Quite the contrary, fat takes up 5 times the space than muscle on your body. Besides, body builders train at very different levels and with different techniques, which are not available to the general public. Therefore, if you were to reduce the amount of fat on your body and build up the amount of muscle you would actually look thinner, leaner and more toned.

Women should be more worried about not having enough muscle rather than having too much. Weightlifting or any weight baring exercise is absolutely vital for women. It is the only way to offset osteoporosis, the sooner you start the better. This way you have more time to build bone density. A good rule of thumb for any resistance training is pick lighter weights and higher repetition. For example, choose a weight that will allow you to repeat the movement between 10 -15 times in one go.

‘Too much exercise can prevent results’

• MYTH – Exercise as long and as often as you can. This way you get more results.
• FACT – The most effective workouts are short, intense and very effective. It is important when exercising to stimulate the muscles to burn fat as efficiently as possible. Too much exercise can become boring, too time consuming and anti-social, our minds then switch off and we struggle to do anything at all. Short bursts can give you excellent results, clear the mind and allow you to focus on short-term goals. Ideally, you want to exercise for 20-30 minutes three times per week (and this can include a brisk walk with the dog) and you want to feel that you’ve done some work but that you are not dying on your feet. Ultimately it is consistency that beats intensity every time. For
example, regularly exercising 2-3 times per week at a moderate intensity (explained later) for six months is by far better than intense but sporadic training here and there.

‘Aerobics or Weights?’
• MYTH – Aerobics is better for shaping up than weights.
• FACT – To transform your shape you must train with weights. Any physical activity is far better for you than sitting in an office all day and flopping down in front of a TV all night but to tone up and change shape you have to include some resistance/weight training. Another big benefit of weight training is that it increases your metabolic rate, the rate at which your body burns fat. Muscle requires a supply of energy (calories) in order to exist, fat on the other hand requires no energy at all. Therefore the more muscle you have the more energy will be used (calories burnt), even when you are asleep. Aerobic exercise alone will help you to initially lose weight but not to change shape and look slender and toned. With only aerobics you won’t be able to sustain the benefits, very much like dieting. A combination of aerobic exercise and weight training is the most sustainable and by far the healthiest way of life.

Finally, food not only helps keep you alive but when you consciously move towards healthier choices, food can clear your complexion, give you extra energy, lift your spirits and mood, make your day, help you sleep and de-stress your internal body. So, there is a lot to be gained from learning to love your food again as it can literally change your world.
Now that we have cleared up some of the most popular Myths and Facts you will be able to use the information in the following weeks more efficiently, effectively and see some fantastic results.

Heart & Soul

Many people will walk in and out of your life.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

In today’s world many things are measured by the speed in which we can perform and deliver them. The expectations upon us grow by the day from employers, employees, partners, children, friends and family. Our lives are so busy with the tasks at hand, our minds so full of the next requirement upon us; we seldom give ourselves any of our own time. It is all to easy to find ourselves without clarity, direction and space as we go from symptom to symptom, reacting to life and allowing ourselves to be taken where life leads us.
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This section is intended to slow you down, chill you out, incorporate a little fun into your life and make you feel great. When you build some ME time into your life you will find it easier to focus on the really important things, you will be proactive and be able to deal with the cause of an issue and above all you will be back in the driving seat and taking control of your journey.

• Do something each day this week that will show up YOUR word at its best.
• Buy yourself a magazine, take the phone off the hook, put your feet up and read it.
• Imagine that one of the articles held the secret to changing your life for the better, in fact learning to take time out can do that for you.
• Who is the smiliest/happiest person you know – think of them when your smile starts to fade. How would they deal with this situation?
• Send someone special a card to let them know you care.
• Add three drops of lavender to a cup of mineral water and spray it from an atomizer when you need to feel relaxed.
• Only say yes when you really mean it
• Be as forgiving of yourself as you are of other people.

Have a great week, have loads of fun and go make some changes.

Top Tips for Week One
Simple Ways to include Fruit & Vegetable’s each day Ideas for fruit:

• Make yourself a tropical fruit salad all the family can enjoy.
• Have a bowl of strawberries, blueberries and raspberries for breakfast. Add some natural or fruit yoghurt and muesli.
• Try a fruit you’ve never tried before.
• Carry a banana or apple in your bag in case you get hungry when you’re out.
• Have a bowl of fruit in your office.
• Add grapes or orange to a green salad.
• Try eating a different fruit every day of the week.
• Have a glass of juice for breakfast.
• Keep a stock of frozen or tinned fruit (in juice, not syrup)
• If you always get hungry at the same time (e.g. mid-morning), schedule in a snack of dried or fresh fruit.
• Whiz up a smoothie in a blender. Try strawberries, banana and yoghurt with low fat milk.

Ideas for vegetables:

• Go for color. Have as many different colored vegetables in one week as you can.
• Snack on raw vegetables such as carrots, celery, peppers and cucumber.
• Order a side salad every time you eat out but beware the dressing.
• Buy a vegetarian cookbook and try vegetarian meals once or twice a week.
• Make salads interesting. Use crunchy raw vegetables or unusual herbs.
• If you have pizza or pasta, try ones loaded with vegetable and extra tomato sauce.
• Always add salad to sandwiches.
• Don’t forget vegetable soups -homemade or bought.
• Keep the freezer full of frozen vegetables so you always have some in stock.
• Eat broccoli and carrots – they are amazingly full of nutrients.
• Experiment with vegetables you’ve never tried.
• Have an extra portion of vegetables instead of potatoes.

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If you would like more information, please contact Derek McGillivray

www.ahappymedium.co.uk

Tel 07468119635 or email derek@ahappymedium.co.uk

Dereks motto – Enlightening others to success though life challenges