Combating Anxiety

Combating Anxiety

by | Jul 5, 2022 | Body, Mind, Soul

Combating Anxiety:  Will a Pill Do the Trick?

At certain points in your life, you might have been plagued with worry.  It might have been in the wake of beginning a marriage, starting a new career, or caring for a sick child.  The worry might have affected you not only emotionally but physically as well.  You might have experienced feelings of uneasiness, faintness, or breathing troubles.

There are degrees of severity when it comes to anxiety.  For instance, it can be mild, lasting only a day or two, or severe, lasting an entire month.  You might experience generalized anxiety disorder or something more specific such as phobias, panic, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

Anxiety might be treated with an anti-depressant or an anti-anxiety medication.  Generally speaking, there are three categories of anti-depressants:  selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs; tricyclics; and monoamine oxidase inhibitors or MAOIs.   SSRIs include Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft.

These anti-depressants often have fewer side-effects than the older generation of anti-depressants.  Initially, you might feel nervous taking SSRIs, but the feeling often disappears after a few weeks.  One of the most important side-effects of these drugs is sexual dysfunction, which can often be corrected by changing the dosage.

Tricyclics tend to have side effects such as sleepiness, dizziness, and weight gain.  They are older than the SSRIs, so there has been more research conducted on them.  Meanwhile, MAOIs can cause a reaction if mixed with certain foods and drinks, such as cheese and wine.  These reactions can include increased blood pressure and other life-threatening problems.

Side-effects of anti-anxiety medications include fatigue, confusion, or drowsiness.    The medications may be taken two or three times a day or just when needed.  Dosage starts low then increases until symptoms disappear.  The amount of medication prescribed varies according to symptoms and a person’s body chemistry.   Doctors generally believe that you should not drink alcohol while taking anti-anxiety medication because the combination can create a life-threatening situation.

Because the medication can lead to dependence, the drugs are usually prescribed for only days or weeks at a time.  In fact, a user might be directed to take the medication only when symptoms of anxiety occur.  In some cases, individuals suffering from anxiety may need treatment for an extended period.

If you begin taking anti-anxiety medication, it is important that you stay on it until the doctor recommends that you stop taking it.  If you stop abruptly, you may experience anxiety, dizziness, or loss of appetite.  Common forms of anxiety medication include Valium, Ativan, and Xanax.

At times, physicians may prescribe beta-blockers to combat anxiety.  While beta-blockers such as propanolol may be used to deal with heart damage, they have also emerged as an effective treatment for social anxiety.  If you face a stressful situation, such as a job interview, your physician may give you a beta-blocker that can keep your palms from sweating, your head from swelling, and treat other symptoms of anxiety.

There are certain steps you should take before you begin a drug regimen for anxiety.  For instance, you should do your homework on the drug.  Find out what side-effects it causes, and determine whether you can live with those side-effects.  Also, you’ll need to inform your doctor of any over-the-counter medications you are using.  Be sure to find out how long you will have to take the drug.  You should realize that if you decide to stop taking the drug, you could find symptoms of anxiety reappearing.

If you’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, it can be a daunting experience.  You may not know where to go or who to turn to.  However, it’s best if you begin your search for treatment with your family physician, who can refer you to a psychiatrist if need be.  While any type of anxiety medication can lead to side-effects, many people report good experiences, particularly with SSRIs.  By working closely with your physician, you can find the medication that’s appropriate for you.

However, you should know that medication may be only one part of the treatment puzzle.  You may also need to engage in talk therapy or join a support group in order to alleviate your symptoms.  The good news is that the prognosis is good for those who’ve been diagnosed with anxiety.

There are of course the holistic approaches, that can work with your drugs or can be used as an alternative, I have always believed, we need to work with the NHS and doctors and together we can help our clients to deal with anxiety.

There are many services we offer from Reiki healing, counselling, life coaching, Access Bars, NLP, Hypnotherapy, regression, TFT and many more..

Instead of just popping a pill why not come for a session and see how we can help you over come your challenges and find the root cause of your issues or the negative learnt behaviours you have created, yes you! As the only person that can help you is yourself, but we can give you the tools to succeed.

Book a session now and get back on that road to recovery!
Schedule Appointment

Behaviours and Self Determination

Behaviours and Self Determination

by | Jul 4, 2022 | Body, Mind, Soul

Behaviours and Self Determination

 

Some people struggle with developing skills because of behaviours developed from influences over the years. When they struggle with pre-structured behaviours or genetically related behaviours it often makes it a harder struggle to build self-determination. Usually with some help, a good mentor, counsellor, etc, the person can develop skills. It may take longer, but it is worth the wait.

A person’s behaviour towards a situation could also affect the way others see them. Their attitude towards others could also affect their behaviour as well. One’s attitude needs to be adjusted for one to develop and change their self-determination. A person could be assessed in any situation to understand what they are going through for one to understand them in any way. May be a sort of group therapy may also help so as the teacher can pick up on any feelings you may have when discussing matters.

Some people may feel better if they converse about things first to others and listen to others and their issues or problems they may have or problems they seem to face in everyday life. In a child it could be something that has happened to them emotionally or mentally. No one knows unless these issues are raised. If a child has a problem at home maybe the child feels better telling a complete stranger i.e., Counsellor so as they can understand from the way they may see things rather than talk to a relative. There may be a lot the person may want to say and may be a bit overwhelmed when talking to someone they know. They may have a lot to say and feel nervous in front of someone. For example, you may want to feel less anxious or tired and therefore a session in counselling may be of help to you in some way or another. Counselling may also help in other ways if need be.

Considering the cognitive approach, motivation sometimes crosses over the lines of theory. For instance, implicit motives can set in motion or cause someone unknowingly to react to something when the person is unaware of his or her intentions. By training the mind to learn while focusing on the objective, you can help one to reform unconstructive behaviours. Sometimes counsellors will use priming methods to measure the patient’s contained memory. The process involves scrambling letters. Once the letters are jumbled the entity is asked to choose some words from the letters. The letters in the first instance should relate to success while in the second instance it should relate to relationship.

During these tests patients that chose the success often showed higher degrees of motivation than those that were confined to relationships. Each party during these tests is often prepared with success-related terms or words. You might try the priming methods at home to see if your child can progress and build his or her motivation.

Aside from the priming method, you have other methods to consider helping your child develop motivation and self-determination. It is a proven fact that we often develop behaviours whether consciously or not, and in time unconscious influences that enforced the behaviours upon us will display themselves in our behaviour. We must constantly stay on guard to defend our human rights and to make sure that others are not influencing our behaviours.

Another good strategy that you can use is the pro and con measurement test. This test will help your child see the benefits of balance, good skills, motivation, etc, and see the consequences of the cons. It is an effective therapeutic strategy that works.

If you need help to change or delete bad learnt behaviours or want to learn and move forward.

Book a Life coaching session today.

Schedule Appointment

I Hold Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced counselling. I am  fully insured and follow national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.

My motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “

Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Mental Health

Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Mental Health

by | Jan 26, 2022 | Mind, Soul

Derek Talking about Alcohol and Drug Abuse in Mental health

Alcohol abuse is overrated, while drug abuse is underrated. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, (DSM manual) suggests that substance abuse there are differences in the definition of drug and alcohol use.

To confuse matters worse the law has its own version of who is an alcoholic or drug addict. Some of the symptoms that help professionals determine if alcohol and drugs are a problem include, excessive drinking/drugging, problems with the law, withdrawal symptoms, shaking of the hands, and so forth.

If a person drinks everyday of the week and relies on alcohol, then you are probably dealing with an alcoholic. There are philosophers who claim if a person needs a drink at breakfast, that he or she is an alcohol.

Some philosophers claim that if you drink more than six-pack in a week, then you are an alcoholic. The fact is, most of the people nagging or evaluating alcohol and drugs have a problem themselves’ s or has gotten help off someone in their lifetime to treat their own problems.

Therefore, as you can see addictions, dependant alcoholics, and other types of alcoholics and drug addicts may alter. First all, any chemical that causes harm is a potential danger to your being.

In other words, if you start out drinking when you are fourteen and continue through your lifetime without alcohol causing you trouble, or else landing you a spot in jail, then you are probably not an alcoholic according to few.

The fact is the ones that are drinking and driving and getting caught are alcoholics according to the system although the level of alcohol in the blood plays a role in the determination. The truth is the law sometimes over dramatizes and the system is out to make all the money they can, so we all might be alcoholics by the time they are done with us.

Alcoholism and drug addictions are complex, in the sense there are too many misconstrued inputs and often the label is placed on individuals according to culture and history. If your parents drank alcohol, then the system sometimes will claim you as an alcoholic. The fact is, Jesus’ drink wine in moderation, so drinking in moderation is not a bad thing. The problem becomes a problem when the person has difficulty putting down the bottle and/or increases their intake as well as combining drugs with the alcohol to get an affect they were had.

If someone will steal or lie to get alcohol or drugs, then you know they have a real problem. However, most alcoholics and drug addicts have bigger problems than addictions and this is often ignored.

For example, people with mental illnesses often resort to alcohol and/or drugs to find relief of their symptoms. Now if a professional is treating this person for his or her diagnose and progress is moving along the person often feels healthy and the alcohol and drugs are out the door.

In my studies and opinions, I disagree with alcoholism and drug addictions if the person can stop once the mental illness is treated. This means that the person was suffering, and the substances was a mechanism to help them cope.

On the other hand, if the person is treated for mental illnesses and his or her drug and alcohol habits continue, then I think you had better get out the chair and start talking ‘one day at a time.’ Alcohol was once known as the “Devils Drink.” The White men are the originator of the source, and since its beginning it has caused serious complications, including death, abuse, and other related crimes.

Drugs are optional since the system often makes them available by teaching individuals what the drugs contain. The root of all-evil is money, and if a person sees that he or she can gain, they may take advantage, but fall into a snare in between. The system is overwrought since they put alcoholics and drugs addicts in jail and not seeking help for them.

The solution to humankind’s problem is helping and not hurting or promoting. If we can’t get along now, what makes you think you are going to heaven?

What do you think?

If you are struggling with addictions or additive behaviours, please get help.

I can help you or sign post you.

Derek Holds Diplomas in Life Coaching, Mindfulness based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) advanced, Past life & this life regression, Hypnotherapy, also hold certificates in Reiki spiritual healing, Advanced counselling. Is fully insured and follows national operational and ethical guidelines with in the laws of the UK.

Derek is often asked to do Motivational & Spiritual Workshops, Psychic shows and events with music from the past present & future.

His motto is ” Enlightening others to succeed through life’s challenges “

Angel – A

Psychic and the mind

Psychic and the mind

by | Dec 22, 2021 | Body, Mind, News, Soul

The Psychic Minds in Mental Health


The Psychic Minds in Mental Health

What is the psychic mind and how does it take part in mental health?

Psychogenic lies outside of scientific insight and is often linked to religious ritualistic and supernatural forces, which are often marked by influences, perception, sensory, morals, immaterial, and so forth. It has been witnessed by few that trauma patients often have a higher level of perception and sensory tools and have been known to have sixth senses and shared pains. This is a new subject that will be addressed later, but I wanted to separate the two. The two are separate from the psychic mind and often linked to the sources.

The many psychic minds around the world believe they can communicate with the dead and predict an unforeseen episode. Is it possible that a person can go into another world and speak with those of the past?

We will see! Having being a Psychic medium I do believe we can, or am I just delusional?

The many people in the world that has helped police officers find murders, help families get in contact with the other world, and have endured attacks on their own lives may not have a psychic intellect, rather they may have an underlying mental illness that creates an delusional outlook or they may have an actual gift who really knows? 

We can look at magic practice, which is a series of acts that include illusion and delusion. What happens is the person is led to believe that an act is real when in fact it is not or as we are taught to believe this, we feel that is the case? We cant open our minds to ask if its true. yet even when I give validations some still believe its not true, maybe I am dilutional or just have a spilt personality?

Another example can be seen in the so-called healers. These people lead others to believe that they can make another individual walk if he or she is in a wheel chair. I learnt information on this subject including that in one case the person had a van parked out in the lot and microphones connected to another individual that acted out the part, and the person in the wheel chair was never paralyzed in the first place. State of illusion-delusion and unfortunately this happens often in our system. But I  have seen amazing healing done, with holistic healers and being a Reiki master I know it can help.

How is this linked to mental illness? Well we can see that the person is an impulsive-compulsive liar that gets rich off misleading others. We call them charlatans and they give the good and genuine healers/Psychics a bad name. We are alert to the fact that when a person illustrates a damning behaviour it often leads to problems that are more dangerous. I have seen so called healers and psychics with no authoring bodies or insurance or even training do damage to others. Very often its myself that has to heal them using my other skills like counselling, life coaching and hypnotherapy.

Now we come back to the psychic mind where these people are misled into believing they have contact with other worlds and can predict or foreseen outdated. Most likely, the person had some connection in the first place, whether the information was in a book read and forgotten or what-have you and yes this can happen. But if you have been trained and are of sound mind, demonstrated your skills in public or private, you have to ask is there something to this? or is it just some delusional mind?

We know from sources that anyone practices magic, employing divination, mediums, sorcerers foretellers and so forth were all recording throughout the history and we are aware that these people are considered evil. So called witches and healers were wrongly burnt, hung and killed

However is Evil the source of the problem? while the individual may be thoroughly deceived and probably suffering underlying causes that make them believe as well as make others believe they have a natural ability to talk to the dead or they may have found out that we can all do this and open up to the possibility of it being true?

The fact is mind over matter is powerful and can become deadly if a person is twisted in their beliefs and thinking process. The mind alone is powerful and can play tricks with the mind that many will struggle to understand. However if we practice vigilant, and work toward enhancing our skills to hear and listen, as well as reading between the lines, we are working toward a healthy mind that very few will have the opportunity to deceive. This article in no way intended to hurt other person’s feelings, rather it is geared to help the audience learn mental health issues, the mind, and why things happen.

It is also geared to help the audience see how jealousy, envy, lies, hate, and other elements play a large role in mental health and mental illnesses.

Many people in the world suffer mental illnesses and often are not aware of this fact until the behaviour that initiated the illness grew into a series of behaviours and thinking processes that escalate to madness.

But the What if? question is how many people have be wrongly diagnosed delusional, when in fact they had gifts and skills that can help us all. The world has many problems and until we all face up to reality and truth we are never going to find the answers to the many problems that often sit in front of our faces.

In todays world with so many untruths and lies spread by social media, we have to ask ourselves what is fact and what is fictional?

I am my own biggest sceptic and I ask all the time, if what I get or think is true and very often it is, but only when I have a quiet mind and peace, I really get the answers, yes I could be delusional or a devil or maybe I just believe in Angel’s and god?

Point to all this is be open minded don’t just judge others on what you don’t know or understand make an effort to understand and maybe you will find the answers!!

If you like to book an appointment click the button below:-

Schedule Appointment

Angel – A

Why I became a Celebrant

Why I became a Celebrant

by | Oct 23, 2020 | Soul, Uncategorised

Why I became a Celebrant.

 


Hi, I am Derek McGillivray.

Why did I choose to be a celebrant?

In my capacity as A Happy Medium, where I am an intuitive life coach and complementary therapist, I discovered I had this amazing ability to foresee weddings, births and so on.

As a result, I was often asked to do wedding ceremonies, or invited to christening of new-born babies.

When at some of these events I often thought that the events did not do justice to the couple as often they didn’t get what they wanted and had to follow set protocols and please Family, church, or others  etc.

So I decided to train as a Civil Celebrant. And offer the couple more options so they could be In Control off THEIR special day.

In June 2019, I completed and passed NOCN Level 3 Diploma in Celebrancy – Baby Naming and Couples.

I was trained in by Civil Ceremonies Ltd. Who are one of the top rated trainers and regulated by the government body OFQUAL.

I am a deeply spiritual person and believe in the concept of unconditional love. Love should be celebrated, and a ceremony is a great way to show that love. I created A Happy Ceremony for that reason to offer personalised ceremonies for my clients,

My motto is “Seal your love with a ceremony and a smile”

Some of the ceremonies I offer are

  • Wedding ceremony
  • Baby Naming
  • Scottish Hand fasting
  • Renewal of Civil partnership or wedding vows
  • Commitment ceremonies
  • Divorce ceremonies

I operate from Elgin in Moray, Scotland but prepared to travel anywhere in UK.

I was already travelling throughout the Uk and the Islands putting on shows for my work as A Happy Medium I had a lot of ceremonies booked but dew to the Covid 19 restrictions they have been rescheduled to next year.

Having been a public speaker for over 25 years I am a very confident speaker and I am often the one who you calms others down,  who are involved in the events I attend, also take charge when things don’t go to plan, I use hummer, kindness and compassion, plus I use my empathy skills to assist you and your family.

I like to get to know a little about you so that I can make sure that your ceremony is personalised to make it unique to you both. You can have as much of your own input as you wish, on your Happy Celebration day. I love to connect with you and your guests so that everyone feels a part of the day and not just a spectator to it. We work together we make it unforgettable.

Here is some of what happens:

  • You find your dream venue or ask us for a recommendation
  • Contact us to hold your preferred date
  • Contact Registration office – Intent to marry
  • Book your signing day
  • Begin creating your unique and personal ceremony!

Whatever the occasion, I look forward to working with you to create a unique and personal ceremony, reflective of who you are and without any restrictions on location, content, format, or style.

My ceremonies are warm, personal, and relaxed, and can be as romantic and sentimental or as upbeat and quirky as you wish.

It’s your day so let’s make it really special and unforgettable for you.

Your Wedding Ceremony

I can officiate at a ceremony for couples of any gender that follows your legal marriage or partnership formalities, either the same day or some time afterwards.

You can share your love for each other with your family and friends, in the ceremony that you really want.

In Scotland just now only a Humanist Celebrant can legally marry you and you have to follow the Humanist format. You don’t have to follow any format with myself as I am not tied to any Religion, but I am fully insured.

The law is hopefully changing soon where all trained celebrants will be able to legally marry, you can have the church minister, priest marry you or a register at or before your ceremony it’s up to you.

Most of my clients just need to say to the register they want to get married but do not want the ceremony with the register, they then get a form to sign and the costs are low.

My ceremonies do not replace your legal formalities but are designed to be a perfect solution to many dilemmas.

If you can say “Yes” to any of the following situations,

the Wedding Celebration Ceremony is for you!

You want your ceremony in a private house or garden.

You want the ceremony outside, maybe in a marquee.

You want to get married abroad but also want to share your wedding celebration with friends and family when you return.

You want your ceremony in a particular venue that is not licensed for marriages or civil partnership.

You want religious or cultural traditions, which are not allowed at a Register Office or in a religious ceremony.

You want to include spiritual, religious, or symbolic elements with special meaning to you.

It is a Personalised ceremony that you design with My help, conducted in front of all your family and friends, in any location that you choose.

These ceremonies are for couples of any gender.

I also can provide PA systems etc as I use them for my other events.

Why Use us, For Your Happy Ceremony?

“Personalise the start of your wedding with a happy ceremony with words that are all about you.”

With a ceremony led by Wedding Celebrant Derek McGillivray you can:

Choose Your Own Location

Your ceremony can be held anywhere!

It does not need to be licensed as the ceremony can be separate from your legal signing.

Choose Your Own Time

Celebrate at a time that suits you. Because normally only one ceremony a day is conducted, you can pick the time you REALLY want!

A Ceremony personalised to suit you

I get to know you so that he can convey your personal story to the guests to make this an unforgettable experience.

I am Fully Qualified and insured I also trained to offer A Naming Ceremony.

What is a Naming ceremony?

A Naming ceremony is an event at which a person or persons is officially assigned a name. Various countries participate in this practice, with methods differing over cultures and religions.

The timing at which a name is assigned can vary from some days after birth to several months or many years.

Your Naming Ceremony can be specially created using your own selection of words, poems and readings, either from the wide selection Derek can provide, or from other sources.

During the ceremony, a special commemorative certificate is signed and presented. There are many ways to make your child’s ceremony a very personal, meaningful, and unique event for all those involved.

Derek can work with you if you still want your child to be baptised in a church etc and want a more personal naming ceremony afterwards. Very often a Baby naming Ceremony is asked for at the same time or before a wedding, especially if couples have children who are being adopted or changing names, it helps make the joining of families more memorable.

Apart from the normal Ring blessing, giving and ring ceremony you can also have lots of other symbolic acts within ceremonies.

The Handfasting Ceremony is probably requested most by the couples in Scotland,

You may have wondered where the expression to tie the knot comes from. It refers to the traditional Celtic ritual of Handfasting, which was recognised as the contract of marriage.

Handfasting may be unfamiliar to many of you so I will explain a little about it.

A hand fasting was originally more like an engagement or trial marriage, where two people would declare a binding union between themselves for a year and a day.

After a year went by they could separate or decide to permanently enter a full marriage, very often if there were no child or pregnancy this is what happened, Hand fasting was suppress in 664 but was still considered amongst many as a legal form of marriage in England until 1753 when it was outlawed.

In Scotland it continued until 1939, hence the stories of elopement to Gretna Green to be married over the anvil.

Candle Lighting

The Bride and Groom each light a candle each, to symbolise their separate lives before their formal union as a married couple. In a partnership of equals, such as the one which they have, each partner cares for the other through both the difficult times and the good times.

They will share the laughter and the tears, the joy, and the sadness, as well as the companionship and tranquillity of simply being together. But at the same time, they will continue to respect each other’s individuality and uniqueness, and this is symbolised by the two candles.

The Bride and Groom then light a third candle symbolising the joining together of their lives in marriage.

The three candles will shine forth as symbols of both their togetherness and of their continuing individuality.

Elements Well Wishing

As a unique way to symbolise a union is to celebrate life’s essential elements. A well-wishing is said to all the elements. Earth, Air, Water and Fire.

There are many ways of doing this, depending on where the ceremony is taking place.

Sand Ceremony

A marriage is symbolised by the pouring together of two individual containers of sand, representing the Bride and the Groom and all that they were, all that they are, and all that they will ever be. As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the grains of sand can never again be separated, as you will now be in their marriage.

Planting a Tree

The tree symbolises a Bride and Groom’s hopes for the future as well as the beauty and wonder of life. Whether a tree grows to be tall and strong depends on the nurture it receives. No tree grows alone – they all need the soil, the sunshine and the rain. So too, a marriage needs to be nourished and a Bride and Groom will be there for each other through all the seasons of their life together – to support, love and nurture each other.

Exchange of Flowers

The language of flowers, has its roots throughout history. Using flowers to send a message probably dates to prehistoric times as symbolic use of flowers is mentioned in Egyptian inscriptions, in Chinese writings and in both Greek and Roman mythology.

And so, the bride and groom exchange white roses, which symbolize purity, charm and innocence.

Gathering of Flowers

As your guests arrive, present them with a flower. Each one of these flowers is different, each one is beautiful, and each one will add its own unique qualities to the bouquet that will made when they are gathered together.

All of your guests have each brought their own qualities to their relationships with you, their own beauty, their own colour and their own influence…

And now as they gather together for this most special of occasions, a nominated person will gather these flowers together, each flower representing their place in the bride and Groom’s lives.

The beautiful bundle of flowers represents the colour and the beauty that each and every person brings into your lives, and with the placing of each flower, the bouquet changes, each flower playing its own part in influencing how the final bouquet will look and feel. This bouquet will now be the centrepiece of this ceremony, and the dinner and party to follow.

Gifts for Mothers

This wedding is also a celebration of family. It is the blending of families, separate up to this moment, but united from this day forward – blending their different traditions, strengthening the family tree. Mothers cry when their children hurt and welcome pain and burden to give their sons and daughters the gift of life.

The Bride and Groom, to honour this blending of families, present a rose to their mothers – to thank their parents for the many sacrifices they have made and for their unconditional love so freely given to their children.

There is so much more

Here is a list of symbolic gestures you may wish to consider for your marriage ceremony.

Candle Lighting

Elements Well Wishing

Sand Ceremony

Planting a Tree

Exchange of Flowers

Gathering of Flowers

Gifts for Mothers

The Mexican Hug

Release of Doves

Release of Butterflies

Release of Balloons

Wedding Band Warming

Heart Entwining

Do not forget some of these gestures can be used for the Baby naming ceremonies too.

Thank you for taking the time to watch this video and we also offer services to support you leading up to your big day, and even help you save money on your house hold bills from now, so, you can put that money towards your future instead.

Feel free to come in or have a chat on zoom, we could even do a ceremony over zoom until you can have that real special day, ironically, I have been asked lately for this already.

 

Check my website for more information

www.ahappyceremony.co.uk

Contact Derek McGillivray

Tel 07468119635

Email derek@ahappyceremony.co.uk

 

7 Mayne Road, Elgin IV30 1NY

 

Positive self talk for the festive season

Positive self talk for the festive season

by | Dec 2, 2019 | Mind, Soul

Positive self talk for the festive season


It gets everywhere! On television and radio, in shops, newspapers and magazines, on
the internet and even all the outdoor decorations. We can’t escape it. The holidays are
coming!

It seems that everyone else has a wonderful family time…..except me? This a common statement from my clients at this time of year.
Is this a fact or opinion?

Perhaps a minority of people are fortunate enough to have a lovely family time. The majority have some good family times mixed
with quite a lot of work, stress and financial burden. Family stresses can be greatly exaggerated and become intolerable over the holiday period when everyone is forced to spend time together, trying to keep things cheerful.

For others, it is a very lonely time. A reminder that we are alone, out of contact with, or without family. If we have friends, then they will probably be spending time with their families and have little spare time for us. Everything seems to be closed on the day itself: shops, libraries, cafes and all other meeting points or places where we might be in contact with others.

So what can we do? How can we get through this time?

Maybe even change things so that we can feel better about it.
If we change the way we think about it, or change what we do – then we will change the way we feel. If we carry on thinking and doing what we’ve always done, then nothing will change and we will have a miserable holiday time.

Use the an alternative cycle to decide how you can make things better.

My alternative cycle:

  • How can I think differently?
  • What can I do differently?
  • How will I feel if I think/act differently?

Get help speak to others, write down lists of what you could do, even volunteer for a charity and spend time helping others.

Here is a good link to down load some information to help click here or go to https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Holidays.pdf

Use positive self talk I encourage my clients to use Positive statements.

Positive statements encourage us and help us cope through distressing times. We can say these encouraging words to ourselves and be our own personal coach.  We have all survived some very distressing times, and we can use those experiences to encourage us through current difficulties.  Examples of coping thoughts might be:

  • Stop, and breathe.
  • I can do this.
  • This will pass.
  • I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this.
  • I have done this before, and I can do it again.
  • This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass.
  • This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong.
  • These are just feelings; they will go away.
  • This won’t last forever.
  • Short term pain for long term gain.
  • I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.
  • I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly.
  • I have survived before, I will survive now.
  • I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.
  • It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction.
  • Right now, I am not in danger.  Right now, I’m safe.
  • My mind is not always my friend.
  • Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual.
  • This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.
  • I can use my coping skills and get through this.
  • I can learn from this and it will be easier next time.
  • Keep calm and carry on.

Don’t let the Festive season get you down, be proactive if you need help book a session and I will help you plan and set some new goals to achieve a wonderful Christmas.

Derek McGillivray

www.ahappymedium.co.uk