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The lessons of Discernment by Derek McGillivray.

Be strong and practice the lessons from discernment, be empowered and take the control back from those situations where you have felt used and hurt by others. Discernment is a gift we are given to cope with life’s challenges, use it wisely!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

What does discernment mean?

In its simplest definition, discernment is nothing more than the ability to decide between truth and error, right and wrong. Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions in our thinking about truth. In other words, when we feel we are being lead up the garden path, by others, or when false promises are given. That can be in work, personal relationships or false claims by retailers etc.

The true meaning of Discernment from Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discernment

Discernment is the ability to obtain sharp perceptions or to judge well (or the activity of so doing). In the case of judgment, discernment can be psychological or moral in nature. In the sphere of judgment, discernment involves going past the mere perception of something and making nuanced judgments about its properties or qualities. Considered as a virtue, a discerning individual is considered to possess wisdom, and be of good judgement; especially so with regard to subject matter often overlooked by others.

How does using discernment help you?

In my own life I had to use discernment a few times, where I learnt not to give energy to those who I had once thought were genuine and then was miss lead, I never followed my gut feelings which I regretted at the time, from pyramid marketing scams, to love issues, we have all had that sort of experience at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s not the persons fault, they may have been miss lead themselves, or in some cases they are ill, so I still practice forgiveness but they have to forgive their actions as they are the ones who caused it.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

If we stay in the anger or the hate mode, we only hurt ourselves, we have to let it go, and that to me is what discernment is all about. Letting go of that horrible feeling of being hurt and used, is a part of the healing process.

A lot of my clients come to me after such experiences, from a sudden change in relationships with their partner to being let down by others, even family, and its hard for them to let go and discernment is something we talk about, cutting the cords, not putting energy to such negative behaviours of others is hard, but its a way of letting go, we cant change the other person we can only change the way we feel about them.

As the cards say, we need to pay attention to the red flags, and when we practice discernment, we become free from the emotions and we can then take the control back, its not easy and we can ask friends to help by being with them and doing fun stuff, do a bit of meditating, mindfulness, clear away all the emotions and start with a clean sheet.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

A card reading or a life coaching session can help, it helped me when I had to go though hard situation in my life, where its hard to let go. being playful with friends can help. The lesson of discernment is hard and it how you deal with it in the present moment that matters.

To do something different, you do get a different result!

If we send Love and healing to them as they need it more than you, we change the way we feel, I remember once at a union meeting with the Oil companies and I really felt annoyed and frustrated with one of the main company directors who had lead us down the garden path a few times before, promised reviews and investigations about some of our issues and he did the opposite, one of my colleges from a different union who had been in the miners strike told me never get angry, just send them love as they need it more than you, discern yourself from the anger in that moment, as I remember his talk, I tried sending love instead of raising to his bate and getting worked up.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

I went quiet and the thought came into my head, I stood up and said hey “Mr we can agree on something,” he then went away on one of his rants about never being able to agree with a young militant trade unionist, who had shut down the north sea. I kept calm and made a bet with him that we can agree, he then said “OK what can we agree on?” I just said “We can agree to disagree!!”, everyone burst out laughing, we did in fact talk and agree on a way forward, so that lesson of discernment was not easy but very effective that day.

We will never agree with or please everybody, accept that in life, debate your corner calmly and with reasoned debates, agree to disagree but move forward. It’s our differences that make us unique, new ideas or thoughts can bring fear and frustration, when we accept change and work though it together, you learn to appreciate that some changes are for your greater good, life brings us challenges its how we deal with them in the now that matter. To have peace and love in your life learn to compromise and accept change with and open heart. If others cant see that, then practice discernment and don’t look back!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

See the solution now, don’t wait for it to come to you, grab the moment and turn it into that special time, where we try a new direction, that could lead you to achieve success. The best plan is one that can be changed to create that victory!

Don’t let negativity close your eyes to the future possibilities! Use the lesson of discernment to achieve the success you deserve.

If you need help to find solutions to your challenges book an appointment and let’s find A Happy Medium to gain success!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

As I said in the video the word Discernment has Biblical meaning for those that are interested here it is.

The spiritual gift of discernment is also known as the gift of “discernment of spirits” or “distinguishing between spirits.” The Greek word for the gift of discernment is Diakrisis. The word describes being able to distinguish, discern, judge or appraise a person, statement, situation, or environment. In the New Testament it describes the ability to distinguish between spirits as in 1 Corinthians 12:10, and to discern good and evil as in Hebrews 5:14.

The Holy Spirit gives the gift of discernment to enable certain Christians to clearly recognize and distinguish between the influence of God, Satan, the world, and the flesh in a given situation. The church needs those with this gift to warn believers in times of danger or keep them from being led astray by false teaching. See also I Corinthians 12:10, Acts 5:3-6; 16:16-18; 1 John 4:1.www.ahappymedium.co.uk

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Life never stays the same, so embrace change as part of your life!

Fear of change? In my life I’ve had to come out of comfort zones, enforced change by no fault of my own, life throws you stuff unexpectedly. But when we look back the lessons we learn, the new skills, and the confidence you gain is worth no amount of money, but its worth as much as a pot of gold, plus we gain the strength from within. So if you need to change or accept change, do it with an open mind and embrace the new experiences with a strong heart and a determined positive mind!

I know its not easy to accept change but in order to accept change we have to look at what we do now?

How many of us have got into the habit of waking up and looking at our phones, Facebook, and so on. We don’t allow ourselves time to fully wake up, we get back into that stress fullness behaviour straight away. If we tried just to listen to soft music or to the sounds of nature outside, Kids playing and talking, sitting down to eat a proper breakfast. Not the news and all the heavy stuff on TVs and phones especially if you know you have a busy day ahead at work, why take on the worlds problems as well, when you have your own stuff to deal with, focus on what you can influence on the day.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Being bullied is not change!

Don’t be bullied into doing what you don’t want to do!
very often I get clients who are stressed and burnt out as they don’t know how to say no.
What I can suggest you say instead is

Sorry that doesn’t work for me just now!
I am Fine we say to our friends.
Let’s define FINE
F Frustrated
I indecisive
N Neurotic
E Exhausted

So by saying just fine, we are really saying we are not happy.

so look at what you can change! Your attitude for one.

As all things are created by our thoughts let’s start with a Happy thought.
Define HAPPY
H Healthy
A Abundant
P Persistent
P Positive
Y Youthful
Fine is not good enough.

We are what we think we are, so be HAPPY and think happy thoughts,

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

You have to believe to receive!

When we have to have purpose in our life it makes change easier, We have to have a why sometimes.

Ifs it about money or lack of as often change can mean less money, think about this.

Let’s just say Sod it to all our money issues and have no judgement around money and just accepting things as they are.

Money is just an exchange, imagine a world with out money, if what you have to offer is worth enough to other people, then they’ll give you lots of things in return E,G I need flowers in my garden in return or painting done so that’s what my exchange would be I would then have loads of nice colours around me making me happy, which I would value.

We are simply in a constant process of exchange for value with the world, the more the world values you the more you get back, what tends to happen is that the more you value yourself, the more the rest of the world will tend to agree and value you as well.

Very often as a way of getting into a new company I would offer to work for free, as I knew my worth, I changed my thought and just thought about working there and enjoying it before I even thought about the money, very often it worked out better than, than what was being offered anyway, as they seen my added value.

So start by valuing yourself because you’re worth it!

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

Now write your contract to yourself like this below

My “Contract for Change” with myself

I, …………………………………………………… take personal responsibility

for creating change within my life. I will begin the PROJECT(S) called

……………………………………………………………………………………

and formally make a contract with myself to see this project through. I have

listed the benefits of living in the solution and I know who I need to become

to complete this project, and I hereby declare that I will commence living in

the solution and being the person I need to be.

Signed: ………………………………………………………………………

Witnessed: ………………………………………………………………………

Dated: ………………………………………………………………………

You need to see it first, one of the tools I use is

Letter from the Future

Write a letter from the future, describing what your life is like now that you have achieved your goals successfully. Do it for each goal Address it to yourself with the date that it is to be achieved. Tell yourself in detail how your life looks, feels, and who you have become as a person at the time of achieving your goal. Remember to write down what you need in your life as much as you want, Take your time.

By doing this your already setting it up in your mind and letting the universe deliver it.

If you need help, book a life coaching session with Derek! Click here to set it up!

My intuitive life coaching sessions are for the purpose of helping you with any challenges that you may currently have or are facing. I also use my skills and tools to help you help yourself, whether it’s spiritual guidance, relationship advice, employment advice, goal setting, loose weight, overcome fears & phobia’s or just general guidance in life.

I hold a Diploma in Life coaching, have a great track record of assisting my clients achieve their goals, with my experience of business & personal mentoring and industrial relations, I can be that neutral person that can see the issues and challenges with in your personal life or the organisations you run or work with, that you cant see and assist in achieving solutions that can move you in the right direction.

“I love helping people help themselves, to be unsuccessful is not an option, to achieve success is my only goal.” DMcG