Positive self talk for the festive season

It gets everywhere! On television and radio, in shops, newspapers and magazines, on
the internet and even all the outdoor decorations. We can’t escape it. The holidays are
coming!

It seems that everyone else has a wonderful family time…..except me? This a common statement from my clients at this time of year.
Is this a fact or opinion?

Perhaps a minority of people are fortunate enough to have a lovely family time. The majority have some good family times mixed
with quite a lot of work, stress and financial burden. Family stresses can be greatly exaggerated and become intolerable over the holiday period when everyone is forced to spend time together, trying to keep things cheerful.

For others, it is a very lonely time. A reminder that we are alone, out of contact with, or without family. If we have friends, then they will probably be spending time with their families and have little spare time for us. Everything seems to be closed on the day itself: shops, libraries, cafes and all other meeting points or places where we might be in contact with others.

So what can we do? How can we get through this time?

Maybe even change things so that we can feel better about it.
If we change the way we think about it, or change what we do – then we will change the way we feel. If we carry on thinking and doing what we’ve always done, then nothing will change and we will have a miserable holiday time.

Use the an alternative cycle to decide how you can make things better.

My alternative cycle:

• How can I think differently?
• What can I do differently?
• How will I feel if I think/act differently?

Get help speak to others, write down lists of what you could do, even volunteer for a charity and spend time helping others.

Here is a good link to down load some information to help click here or go to https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Holidays.pdf

Use positive self talk I encourage my clients to use Positive statements.

Positive statements encourage us and help us cope through distressing times. We can say these encouraging words to ourselves and be our own personal coach.  We have all survived some very distressing times, and we can use those experiences to encourage us through current difficulties.  Examples of coping thoughts might be:

• Stop, and breathe.
• I can do this.
• This will pass.
• I can be anxious/angry/sad and still deal with this.
• I have done this before, and I can do it again.
• This feels bad, it’s a normal body reaction – it will pass.
• This feels bad, and feelings are very often wrong.
• These are just feelings; they will go away.
• This won’t last forever.
• Short term pain for long term gain.
• I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.
• I don’t need to rush, I can take things slowly.
• I have survived before, I will survive now.
• I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.
• It’s okay to feel this way, it’s a normal reaction.
• Right now, I am not in danger.  Right now, I’m safe.
• My mind is not always my friend.
• Thoughts are just thoughts – they’re not necessarily true or factual.
• This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.
• I can use my coping skills and get through this.
• I can learn from this and it will be easier next time.
• Keep calm and carry on.

Don’t let the Festive season get you down, be proactive if you need help book a session and I will help you plan and set some new goals to achieve a wonderful Christmas.

Derek McGillivray

www.ahappymedium.co.uk