Mindfulness, CBT and Learning to Be Present
Life can become incredibly busy. Our minds jump from one thought to another — what happened yesterday, what needs done tomorrow, work, relationships, money, family and all the other challenges life can bring.
Sometimes we are so busy thinking about life that we forget to actually experience it.
This is where mindfulness can help.
For many years, I have incorporated Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based approaches into my life coaching and therapeutic work. They can be useful when exploring learned behaviours, fears and phobias, anger, stress, difficult experiences and the patterns of thinking that can sometimes hold us back.
Understanding CBT
One of the principles behind CBT is that the way we think about and interpret a situation can influence how we feel and, ultimately, how we behave.
When something feels overwhelming, it can be difficult to see a way forward.
CBT helps us break the bigger problem into smaller, more manageable parts. We can begin looking at our thoughts, emotions, physical feelings and behaviours and recognising how they influence one another.
Sometimes simply becoming aware of a pattern is the beginning of changing it.
You don't have to change everything today. Sometimes the first step is simply noticing.
What Does Mindfulness Really Mean?
For me, mindfulness is quite simple:
Being in the present moment and being fully aware.
So many of us spend our lives in what I would describe as a state of mindlessness. Our attention is divided between dozens of different things and, although physically we are somewhere, mentally we may be somewhere completely different.
Mindfulness is the opposite.
It is about becoming aware, moment by moment, of our thoughts, emotions, physical feelings and surroundings — without immediately judging what we find.
You don't need to be an expert at meditation.
You don't need special equipment.
You don't even need to completely empty your mind.
Sit comfortably. Notice your breathing. When your attention wanders — and it will — gently bring your attention back.
That simple act is mindfulness.
A Mindful Moment by the River Nevis
The video accompanying this blog was filmed beside the River Nevis near Ben Nevis in Fort William, a place that has always had a special connection for me.
Take a few minutes to watch it without trying too hard to achieve anything.
Listen.
Breathe.
Notice what you can see and hear.
And simply allow yourself to be there for a few moments.
We spend so much of our lives rushing towards the next thing that sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to stop.
Don't Judge Your Meditation
People sometimes tell me:
"I tried meditation, but I couldn't stop thinking."
That's okay.
The aim isn't necessarily to stop every thought.
Notice the thought. Recognise that your attention has wandered and gently return to your breathing or whatever you have chosen to focus upon.
Try not to go into mindfulness with expectations about what should happen.
Let your experience simply be your experience.
Keep a Mindfulness Journal
One practice I often recommend is writing down what you notice after mindfulness or meditation.
You might record:
- physical sensations
- emotions
- thoughts
- memories
- changes in your breathing
- things you noticed around you
- anything that surprised you.
Over time, your journal can help you recognise patterns that you may otherwise have missed.
The Mindfulness RAIN Practice
Another useful mindfulness tool is RAIN:
R — Recognise
What is happening inside me right now?
Notice your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Approach what you discover with curiosity rather than immediately trying to change it.
A — Allow
Can I allow this moment to be as it is?
Let the thoughts, emotions or sensations you've noticed be present for a moment. Listen to yourself with kindness rather than fighting what you're experiencing.
I — Investigate
What needs my attention?
Where do you feel this experience in your body? What emotion is present? What might that feeling be trying to tell you?
N — Natural Awareness
After recognising, allowing and investigating, give yourself permission simply to notice and rest in awareness.
Your RAIN Diary
Afterwards, you might ask yourself:
- What was the situation?
- Recognise: What was happening inside me — physically, mentally and emotionally?
- Allow: How did I allow the experience to be there without immediately fighting it?
- Investigate: What did I discover when I looked a little deeper and treated myself with kindness?
- Natural Awareness: What changed when I stopped trying to control the experience and simply became aware?
There are no perfect answers.
This is about becoming more aware of you.
Take the First Step
Mindfulness and meditation have been important parts of my own life for many years, both personally and professionally.
One of the things I have learned is that we can't always control what happens around us, but we can become more aware of what is happening within us and how we choose to respond.
That awareness can be a powerful starting point for change.
So wherever you are today, give yourself a few minutes.
Take a breath.
Look around you.
Come back into the present moment.
And remember — you don't have to have everything figured out today.
Sometimes you just need to take the first step.
If you would like support with mindfulness, CBT-based coaching, stress management or making positive changes in your life, you are welcome to get in touch or book a session with me.
Derek McGillivray – A Happy Medium
Helping you find your own happy medium in life.